Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Daniel Day-Lewis Takes Method Acting Too Far, Gives Speech to Commemorate Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation

Daniel Day-Lewis is set to play Abraham Lincoln in the upcoming Steven Spielberg drama, Lincoln. If you're aware of the actor's method preparation for getting into the head of his characters, it might come as no surprise that playing the 16th President of the United States has caused him to go a bit insane. Although he's a month early, Day-Lewis gave a speech earlier today to commemorate the 149th anniversary of Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation, the executive order that freed almost 4 million slaves during the Civil War.

Spurred On by Box Office Numbers, Immortal Twilight Perfume Starts Marketing Campaign

"Immortal is defined as everlasting, never to be forgotten and having perpetual life. From the eternal life of a vampire to the eternal love between soul mates, Immortal Twilight is the personification of undying romance."

Those are the words on the official Twilight Beauty website, which goes on to say how the film's "essence of breathless romance" has a quality that "only a scent can fully emulate." The PR company behind the perfume's marketing campaign has hit the ground running as news spread that Breaking Dawn surpassed $500 million in worldwide box office numbers in just 12 days. They're buying up commercial slots all over the place, and the first ad will start running over the weekend. Fortunately for all of you, GPS was allowed a sneak peak at how at least some of it will look.


Monday, November 28, 2011


Twas an hour before midnight at my local Best Buy
my belly was stuffed from too much turkey and pie
lines formed around the block, but I actually didn't care
because I knew what I wanted would surely be there

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Vin Diesel Announces Not So Fast, but Still Furious for 2013 Release

Fast Five grossed $626 million on a $125 million budget. With that in mind, it comes as no surprise that a sixth installment is already in the works, and Vin Diesel sat down with GPS to discuss the plot, characters, and release date for what's now known as Not So Fast, but Still Furious.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

GPSerious: So Much To Do, So Little Time

While listening to a podcast recently, I was actually quite shocked to learn that Anthony Hopkins was only on screen for about sixteen minutes during "Silence of the Lambs." It's pretty remarkable if you stop and think about it. In that span he was able to horrify audiences, create an icon, and nab an Oscar for best actor. Immediately I tried to think of other actors who stuck out in movies despite having a limited screen time.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Studios Finally Tell Adam Sandler NO!

Adam Sandler's latest film "Jack and Jill" is swiftly tumbling down the box office hill, and that's bad news for Happy Madison productions. The funnyman has been eager to get to work on another creation of comedic brilliance, but is having trouble finding a studio willing to distribute his next project. So far there have been zero takers for his latest script "Flippy Crapwell: Toilet Repairman," and GPS decided to find out how far the comedian's stock has fallen in Tinseltown.

Friday, November 18, 2011

GPSerious: Actual Twilight Cast vs. Twilight Cosplayers (Which Team Will Win?)

As I sat down to shit on the latest Twilight movie, something occurred to me. I asked myself, "Self, what's even worse than images like the one above?" To which my...self replied, "Self, someone who's not famous recreating stupid shit like the image above." And thus, this post took shape. I'm going to pit the real deal against their understudy doppelgangers and see who comes out victorious in a picture battle. What does victory mean in a bout such as this? It means regardless of who wins, neither camp can show their face in polite society again. It's a win for everyone, including me.


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Cameron Says Titanic Will Feel Even Longer In 3-D And Boat Won't Sink This Time

After "Avatar" became the all time box office champ and vaulted the popularity of 3-D to new heights, James Cameron is now hoping the iceberg of good fortune will strike "Titanic" for a second time. During the past couple of years, Cameron and his team have been busy retooling the blockbuster for a 3-D theatrical run. But will being all prettied up in the third dimension be enough to entice audiences back to the multiplexes? GPS was lucky enough to spend some quality time with Cameron and learn more about the upcoming re-release.


Thursday, November 10, 2011

Happy Birthday Ennio Morricone

Happy 83 years of musical brilliance! This is his score from one of my all time favorite spaghetti westerns "Companeros" enjoy!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

In Light of Oscars® Controversy, 3-way Deal Reached Between Brett Ratner, Eddie Murphy, and Academy Members

It's been an exciting news day here at GPS, what with all the Oscars® shenanigans taking place. Personally, I haven't been this amazed since U2 won Best Original Song during the 2003 Golden Globes®. So, basically, Academy President Tom Sherak has struck a deal with Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy. Neither of them will be part of the Oscar® telecast in any official capacity, but I think the solution is something everyone can live with.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

GPSerious: I Wish I Was Bound with Jennifer Tilly.

Remember when the Wachowskis were still awesome? Well, before The Matrix made them officially awesome, they directed a little movie called Bound. It stars Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon, and Joe Pantoliano, and it's a sexy noir thriller about two lesbian lovers who decide to fuck the mob out of 2 million dollars.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull Inspires New Nation Sweeping Social Fad

For some strange reason, Steven Spielberg recently admitted that it was his idea in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" to nuke the fridge. "I'm proud of that," says the director. "I'm glad I was able to bring that into popular culture." He's done that and a whole lot more now. In the wake of Spielberg's bold brave confession about one of cinema's most hated scenes ever, fans are saluting him with a crazy new social fad that has been sweeping the nation. You may have heard of planking and owling, but now you can add NUKING to the list.


Sunday, November 6, 2011

After 34 Minutes In, Blogger Realizes There's Still 2 Hours To Go In Transformers 3

It took about thirty four minutes. That breaks down to two thousand forty seconds. Every now and then, I'm in the mood to watch Bay porn, but the Gods of incoherent robot smashing action did not favor him on this day. After what felt like an eternity, I checked the counter to see how much longer I had to endure the antics of Sam Witwicky and his comical sidekick auto-bots. I was in shock to learn there was still two hours to go. Two hours breaks down to one hundred twenty minutes. That breaks down to seven thousand two hundred seconds. After considering masturbating with a cheese grater which is slightly amusing but basically painful, I decided to let the film run and see how much more productive I could be with those two hours.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Breaking News: Shia LaBeouf Cast as John McClane Jr in A Good Day to Die Hard

As of 2:43pm MDT, it was reported that the role of John McClane Jr in the next Die Hard movie was down to four actors. However, in a totally unexpected turn of events, GPS has learned that it has been given to Shia LaBeouf, that kid who overturned his car and got stomped in the face while in a drunken stupor.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Movie Blog Finds No New Dark Knight News to Report, Posts Grocery List Instead

Since hearing that "The Dark Knight Rises" production has moved to New York to shoot a fight scene, GPS has been scouring the web for any new tidbits of information to satiate the spoiler loving fans who must know everything about the epic production. We got It's been a slow start to the news week in the blogosphere what can we say? Truly disappointing I know, but Phobos and I were still able to write up a little something to pass the time. We realize that movie blogging often contains lists of various sorts, so here is our list of the the Top 7 Things We Need from the Grocery Store This Week.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

Terrence Malick's Untitled Romantic Drama Starring Ben Affleck is Really About Orbiting Planets and Shit.

If you thought Terrence Malick was correct when he fell asleep at his own screening for Tree of Life, man...wait 'til you get a load of his Untitled Romantic Drama "starring" Ben Affleck and Rachel McAdams. I use quotes there because, as it turns out, only 40 minutes of the film's purported 183-minute runtime will be focused on actual people. The rest will make use of longing stares at revolving planets and nucleotides as they form the beginnings of intelligent life. The twist comes at the end, when everything in the known universe is dumped out of a colossal anus.

GPScorsese 2

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Occupy Protesters Set Up Camp At Skywalker Ranch

The Occupy protest movement that has been making headlines all over the country has now shown up at the doorstep of Skywalker Ranch, and the political "force" is with them. George Lucas is none too happy to be dealing with the makeshift tent city he now finds on his lawn, and the bearded one is baffled as to why these rebels have targeted him where he lives. When word broke, we at GPS immediately packed our camping gear and headed to the ranch in Marin County California to be there as the story unfolded.

On Heels of Anonymous, Steven Spielberg Speaks: "Roland Emmerich Did Not Direct Stargate."

Only a few days after Roland Emmerich's latest film, Anonymous, opened in theaters, another well-known Hollywood director came out of the shadows and dropped a bombshell on us all. Steven Spielberg sat down with GPS and set the record straight on what was thought to be Emmerich's best film, Stargate. "Roland Emmerich did not direct Stargate," Spielberg told us. "I did."