Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Daniel Day-Lewis Takes Method Acting Too Far, Gives Speech to Commemorate Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation

Daniel Day-Lewis is set to play Abraham Lincoln in the upcoming Steven Spielberg drama, Lincoln. If you're aware of the actor's method preparation for getting into the head of his characters, it might come as no surprise that playing the 16th President of the United States has caused him to go a bit insane. Although he's a month early, Day-Lewis gave a speech earlier today to commemorate the 149th anniversary of Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation, the executive order that freed almost 4 million slaves during the Civil War.

Standing on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, Day-Lewis said in a stern voice that he was "extremely grateful for the opportunity to speak on important matters such as slavery and how it should be abolished."

For some unknown reason, Daniel Day-Lewis spoke to a record crowd at the Lincoln Memorial. He didn't even have anything to say besides slavery sucks.

Day-Lewis then went on to remind everyone of his 1863 presidential decree.

"That on the first day of January, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, all persons held as slaves within any State or designated part of a State, the people whereof shall then be in rebellion against the United States, shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free; and the Executive Government of the United States, including the military and naval authority thereof, will recognize and maintain the freedom of such persons, and will do no act or acts to repress such persons, or any of them, in any efforts they may make for their actual freedom," Day-Lewis said.

 In fear of Daniel Day-Lewis drinking my milkshake, I turned an intern into a human shield of questions.

Day-Lewis was in a rush to get back to his limo after the speech, but our most vocal intern was able to scream out "Why are you doing this?" as he trotted past us. Day-Lewis looked at us, puzzled, and screamed back "Just wait...this is only the beginning!"

We at GPS have absolutely no idea what was meant by that cryptic remark, but rest assured, we'll keep on top of Daniel Day-Lewis' shenanigans as Honest Abe.


  1. I'm assuming he has a bodyguard following him around all day to make sure he doesn't try to get assassinated?

  2. Either that or bullets just make him angry.

  3. Just think if he was cast in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter...

  4. Charlie Kauffman needs to hook up with Daniel Day-Lewis for a biopic about Daniel Day-Lewis. DDL's preparation for the role would blow my mind.

    I gotta tweet that...

  5. According to highly reputable website that slashfilm (updated 37 times a day), the Lincoln beard will be mostly invisible.

    For reals though, there would be riots in the street if they made a beardless Lincoln.