Monday, November 28, 2011


Twas an hour before midnight at my local Best Buy
my belly was stuffed from too much turkey and pie
lines formed around the block, but I actually didn't care
because I knew what I wanted would surely be there

No line to big for this capitalist pig

When the doors finally opened there arose such a clatter
I had cut to the front because all the other dumb shits didn't matter
Into the store I flew like a flash
There were bargains on sale and I had hard cash

Welby leads the attack with all others in back

 I found my item quickly as I fought through the fray
just barely escaping the lady with pepper spray
security escorted her out and she started to yell
"That man took my TV you assholes go to HELL!"

This unhappy lady used lots of pepper spray

on the eyes of this TV thief so he wouldn't get away

Nothing to do now except go up front and pay
but the line started at the back of the store much to my dismay
I couldn't cut again that just wouldn't be right
and I realized this purchase might take all damned night
the line may be long, but I'll remain strong 

I finally made it out and held my head high
as a man with a new plasma happily walked by
I said, "that's pretty good pal, but not as good as mine
 cause you just can't beat Sucker Punch for $7.99"

this man is happy but I have a hunch

his prize is not worthy like Snyder's Sucker Punch

My truck sped out of the lot and into the street
I was totally exhausted but my mission was complete
As visions of Baby Doll danced through my head
I realized my Black Friday is over HOLY CRAP time for bed.


  1. Clever. I myself went brought Arkham City, which i have been playing almost nonstop since i got...seriously, that game makes you feel like Batman.

    In fact, i've been feeling the urge to yell at random people when i'm trying to work ever since i started playing. Strange

  2. My genuine fear of overzealous shoppers is probably the reason why I''m glad we don't have Black Friday in the UK!

    ...but these are some funny pics! And I love the commentary. Glad you got your bargain!

  3. @Dirty...Arkham City is worth all hassle required to obtain it.

  4.'s amazing the lengths people will go to get their bargains.

  5. Hahahaha Sucker Punch for $7.99...that's awesome.
    Clever Markus, very clever...and that guy's plasma will burn out long before you ever get tired of watching Sucker Punch:P I'd call that a win:)

  6. @Marc...It's ridiculous, but I did indeed wait in that awful line to buy it. I'm in the love it camp when it comes to Sucker Punch and there seems to not be many of us!

  7. True Markus, our numbers are in short supply.

    While I wasn't fond of it in the theaters I enjoyed it more on Blu Ray at home...and the Director's Cut helps by giving a little more story, action and a dance number featuring Carla Jugs, I mean Gugino:P Between this and the disappointment/glorified TBS movie that was The Expendables I'd take this any day of the week...of course somedays I think it's like a great many other films that I find more entertaining on MUTE:

  8. @Marc...I actually haven't seen the director's version yet. I'm actually pretty stoked to see it now!

  9. I must see this director's cut. I love Carla Jugs.