Friday, November 4, 2011

Movie Blog Finds No New Dark Knight News to Report, Posts Grocery List Instead

Since hearing that "The Dark Knight Rises" production has moved to New York to shoot a fight scene, GPS has been scouring the web for any new tidbits of information to satiate the spoiler loving fans who must know everything about the epic production. We got It's been a slow start to the news week in the blogosphere what can we say? Truly disappointing I know, but Phobos and I were still able to write up a little something to pass the time. We realize that movie blogging often contains lists of various sorts, so here is our list of the the Top 7 Things We Need from the Grocery Store This Week.

MarkusWelby needs:

  1. Toilet paper. Make sure to get the kind that doesn't have aloe in it. I need proper traction.
  2. Two boxes of Count Chocula. The greatest cereal known to mankind.
  3. Topical Cream. Otherwise that sore will never go away down there. 
  4. Doctor Scholl's gel shoe inserts. My feet have been really hurting lately. 
  5. Earwax Removal kit. Even though most of it got blasted out by George Lucas recently
  6. Batman Underoos. So at least we can have something Batman related in this stupid post 
  7. Family size bag of Doritos. Because I love the taste of disodium phosphate....sodium caseinate.....disodium inosinate....disodium guanylate.....yellow 6.....yellow 5.....and red 40. 
    Underoos are fun to wear

    Sir Phobos needs:

    1. A frame to hang up my black-and-white picture of Edwige Fenech
    2. Lotion and tissue for after I hang up my black-and-white picture of Edwige Fenech
    3. A pack of AA batteries for my mouse because I can't photoshop using a laptop touchpad
    4. That Masters of the Universe DVD I saw in the bargain bin on the way in last time
    5. Cheese cubes
    6. One of those funny plastic cups with the flamingos on it in the clearance aisle
    7. The Denver Broncos coozie and beanie set that grocery stores are always promoting. They really want me to root for my local popular sports team
     We at GPS deeply apologize for not being able to find any dirt on the next Batman production. If it's any consolation, today Tom Hardy drank some water with his shirt unbuttoned.

    Tom Hardy was extremely hot and thirsty today


    1. This is what happens when you use cheap hookers Markus

    2. @dirty.......I only use expensive hookers thank you!

    3. Then how did you get the sore down there sir?

    4. @Dirty (sans elipses) well um I didn't have a lot of cash on that particular day, but this gal came highly recommended by Phobos.

    5. Well then,Phobos needs to pick a classier kind of prostitute

    6. Hey, you guys shouldn't be talking about my working girls like that while I'm not in the room. Christ.



    8. You pulled that one out at the end. Good job.

    9. the hell...have I never heard of Edwige Fenech? It's not like that's a name you forget. Jeez.

      Oh - she's from the 60s or whatever and is Italian. That explains it. Still hot.

      Love the grocery cart images.

      C'mon, Markus - all the cool kids know that it's all about Yellow Number 5.

    10. @Dylan...Edwige Fenech is the Goddess of Giallo, and you simply must see some of her films. She typically always gets naked as well so that should sell you right there. When you're ready for some Giallo and Spaghetti tutelage, look to Phobos and Welby to set you on the path properly.