Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Breaking News: Courtney Love to Star in Amy Winehouse Biopic

Fresh off of 2010's barn-burner Straight to Hell Returns (Written by a guy named Dick Rude. Seriously.), Courtney Love has been confirmed for the lead in a too-soon biopic of Amy Winehouse. According to producers, their goal is to "present Amy's story in a respectful, yet honest manner." And what says respectful more than Courtney Love?

 There's class, and then there's Courtney.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

George Takei Calls for "Star Peace" Between Star Trek and Star Wars Fans; Doesn't Go So Well

In an impassioned speech on YouTube, George Takei has thrown down the gauntlet. He's tired of the bickering between Trekkies and Star Wars nerds (They don't get their own, special name), and he's not shying away from calling out Carrie Fisher and The Shat himself. In the video, he says there is a bigger, more immediate foe that needs the combined efforts of both sides in order to make a difference. Watch:

That's right: Twilight.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Boy Not Enamored With "A Christmas Story" Like His Parents Are

When TBS airs 24 hours of "A Christmas Story" every year, it usually brings good tidings of comfort and joy to the Turtlewood family. It's been a yearly tradition for them to don their gay apparel, eat heartily, and watch Ralphie quest for his ultimate present at least five times before letting their son open his own. Unfortunately, young Tom doesn't share his parent's appreciation for the beloved holiday classic and hopes to start a new tradition. One that doesn't involve watching what he thinks is a shitty old movie over and over again before claiming his Christmas loot.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

GPSerious: Tebow And Divine Intervention Power Bronco's Win Streak

The so called experts seem to have no answer as to how the Denver Broncos stay victorious with a quarterback with such "limited" skills behind center, but yet the team keeps on winning in miraculous fashion. Tebow wears his religious faith on his sleeve for all to see, and at this point in their six game win streak, it's hard to argue that there isn't some sort of divine intervention taking place on the field. Tebow is one of the most polarizing figures in all of sports and........oh shit......this isn't a sports blog. Sorry about that. Let's talk about some movie quarterbacks who kick more ass than Tebow.

GPSerious: The Human Condition vs. A Human's Condition: The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser & Bad Boy Bubby

I've long been a fan of Werner Herzog's The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser. I have it on DVD, and it's part of a boxed set that I've had for years now. If you don't own the set, I recommend picking it up. Herzog is one of the most fascinating and unique directors out there. But the reason I'm talking about any of this is because I recently watched a film that brought up similar themes to Kasper Hauser. Bad Boy Bubby, a 1993 Australian film by Rolf de Heer (I've never heard of him or anything else he's done), is a depraved, twisted tale, but that depravity ultimately keeps it from bettering or even equaling what Herzog did with Kaspar Hauser.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Jason Segel And Miss Piggy Sex Tape Leaks To Internet

It was always Jason Segel's dream to work with the muppets on film, but now he's apparently taken his love for the popular characters a little too far. He wrote and starred in this years reboot of "The Muppets," but the critics who gave that movie universal acclaim may not be so smitten with his unofficial sequel. A recording of the actor and comedian having sex with Miss Piggy has been leaked to the internet, and the executives at Disney are none too happy about the public relations nightmare that has ensued in the aftermath.