If He Wins an Oscar®, Terrence Malick Promises an Explanation for The Tree of Life

Terrence Malick is riding high with three - count 'em - three Academy award nominations for The Tree of Life at this year's Oscars®. That's fantastic news in-and-of-itself, but what's more is the fact that if the film wins in any category it was nominated, Malick will finally record commentary and re-release The Tree of Life on DVD and Blu-ray, adding the audio track for those who care to know what volcanic ash and DNA have in common.

Nobody Knows Who Guy Standing Next To Jennifer Lawrence Was During Early Morning Oscar Nomination Announcements

The list of nominees for the 84th Annual Academy Awards were broadcast to news stations at 5:30 in the morning by a ravishing looking Jennifer Lawrence and apparently some other guy. Lawrence has been drawing critical raves by fashionistas for her bronze mane and periwinkle bib dress, but nobody seems to know who the man standing next to her was during the big announcement. "She was beautiful before she dyed her hair, but now she's simply a goddess to behold," a flamboyantly gay critic noted. "How she looked so fabulous so early in the morning is amazing, but who was that gross old man next to her trying to steal a little of the spotlight? Sorry honey, but she was the prize that glued my eyes!" GPS decided to do a little research and uncover the identity of the mystery man.

First Image Of Live Action Beavis And Butt-head Movie Revealed

Ok so not really, but these sculptures by make up effects expert Kevin Kirkpatrick are pretty cool........and just a tad creepy.

Murder Mystery Reveals Everyone In Sweden Speaks And Writes In English

A disgraced journalist and mentally troubled computer hacker made headlines recently in Stockholm Sweden after solving a decades old murder case. After disappearing and thought to be dead for over forty years, Harriet Vanger was found alive and well, but the biggest mystery coming out of the Northern European country is why everyone there apparently speaks and writes in English. The phenomena was discovered after details of the duo's exploits were reported by news outlets around the world, and language experts are baffled as to how an entire dialect could simply vanish without a trace much like Harriet did ages ago.

Breaking News: Courtney Love to Star in Amy Winehouse Biopic

Fresh off of 2010's barn-burner Straight to Hell Returns (Written by a guy named Dick Rude. Seriously.), Courtney Love has been confirmed for the lead in a too-soon biopic of Amy Winehouse. According to producers, their goal is to "present Amy's story in a respectful, yet honest manner." And what says respectful more than Courtney Love?

 There's class, and then there's Courtney.

George Takei Calls for "Star Peace" Between Star Trek and Star Wars Fans; Doesn't Go So Well

In an impassioned speech on YouTube, George Takei has thrown down the gauntlet. He's tired of the bickering between Trekkies and Star Wars nerds (They don't get their own, special name), and he's not shying away from calling out Carrie Fisher and The Shat himself. In the video, he says there is a bigger, more immediate foe that needs the combined efforts of both sides in order to make a difference. Watch:

That's right: Twilight.

Boy Not Enamored With "A Christmas Story" Like His Parents Are

When TBS airs 24 hours of "A Christmas Story" every year, it usually brings good tidings of comfort and joy to the Turtlewood family. It's been a yearly tradition for them to don their gay apparel, eat heartily, and watch Ralphie quest for his ultimate present at least five times before letting their son open his own. Unfortunately, young Tom doesn't share his parent's appreciation for the beloved holiday classic and hopes to start a new tradition. One that doesn't involve watching what he thinks is a shitty old movie over and over again before claiming his Christmas loot.

GPSerious: Tebow And Divine Intervention Power Bronco's Win Streak

The so called experts seem to have no answer as to how the Denver Broncos stay victorious with a quarterback with such "limited" skills behind center, but yet the team keeps on winning in miraculous fashion. Tebow wears his religious faith on his sleeve for all to see, and at this point in their six game win streak, it's hard to argue that there isn't some sort of divine intervention taking place on the field. Tebow is one of the most polarizing figures in all of sports and........oh shit......this isn't a sports blog. Sorry about that. Let's talk about some movie quarterbacks who kick more ass than Tebow.

GPSerious: The Human Condition vs. A Human's Condition: The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser & Bad Boy Bubby

I've long been a fan of Werner Herzog's The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser. I have it on DVD, and it's part of a boxed set that I've had for years now. If you don't own the set, I recommend picking it up. Herzog is one of the most fascinating and unique directors out there. But the reason I'm talking about any of this is because I recently watched a film that brought up similar themes to Kasper Hauser. Bad Boy Bubby, a 1993 Australian film by Rolf de Heer (I've never heard of him or anything else he's done), is a depraved, twisted tale, but that depravity ultimately keeps it from bettering or even equaling what Herzog did with Kaspar Hauser.

Jason Segel And Miss Piggy Sex Tape Leaks To Internet

It was always Jason Segel's dream to work with the muppets on film, but now he's apparently taken his love for the popular characters a little too far. He wrote and starred in this years reboot of "The Muppets," but the critics who gave that movie universal acclaim may not be so smitten with his unofficial sequel. A recording of the actor and comedian having sex with Miss Piggy has been leaked to the internet, and the executives at Disney are none too happy about the public relations nightmare that has ensued in the aftermath.