I'm not quite as obsessed as I used to be, but after collecting DVDs and now Blu-rays for the past twelve years, I've amassed quite a huge stockpile of cine-wonderful entertainment. There's an unfortunate downside to being a rabid collector. On any given night, simply trying to find my copy of "The Lost Boys" was like venturing into the warehouse at the end of "Raiders." A daunting task that usually ends up with me cussing and suffering from "Two Corey" withdrawal symptoms. Oh the insanity!
The Lost Boys must be found......
so I can get my two Corey fix on!
My unorganized collection was walling me in and making my home a prison. I needed to stop, but when Best Buy has "Revenge of the Nerds" in the bargain bin for $4.99, I'm there like stink on doo-doo. The collection continues to grow, but I've finally managed to contain the mountain of mayhem. There's a million movie blogs out there on the web, and I'm guessing there must be others who struggle to climb their DVD version of Mount Everest like we do at GPS. There's help. The first step is admitting you have a problem. I'll go first. "My name is MarkusWelby, and I am a movie hoarder." The last time I bought a movie was five days ago. It was the "Alien Anthology" Blu-ray set. I couldn't resist the temptation of seeing Bishop do the thing with the knife in glorious 1080p and I caved. I'm ashamed of myself.
powerless to resist the 1080p thing with the knife
We at GPS have come up with a simple twelve step program to combat this deadly disease.
THE TWELVE STEPS OF MOVIE HOARDING ANONYMOUS
- We admit that we are powerless against unnecessary movie purchases and that our collection has become unmanageable.
- We came to believe that a great power such as Morgan Freeman could restore order to our collection.
- We made a decision to turn our will and our collection over to the care of Morgan Freeman as we understood him.
- We made a fearless and moral inventory of our movie collection
- We admitted to Morgan Freeman, to ourselves, and to another human being how cluster-fucked our movie organizational skills are.
- We are entirely ready to have Morgan Freeman remove our shitty organizational skills and replace them with those that are worthy of a large movie collection.
- We humbly ask Morgan Freeman to organize our giant shit-pile of DVDs that are randomly scattered throughout the house.
- We made a list of all the genres that we had harmed, and became willing to categorize and alphabetize them all.
- We made direct amends to such genres wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- We continued to take personal inventory of our collection and when we were wrong about classifying "Silence of the Lambs" as a horror film instead of a police procedural thriller, we promptly admit it.
- We sought prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Morgan Freeman, as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other movie hoarders in 12 step meetings, and to practice these principles in all our movie affairs.
Only the 12 step meetings.......
and the power of Morgan Freeman
could restore sanity to my life and movie collection
Will you take the first step to recovery?