Friday, October 14, 2011

Zombie Filmmakers Brace For Witty Title Shortage


The positive reviews have been pouring in for the indy zombie flick "Juan of the Dead," and would be filmmakers are now scrambling to milk any remaining titles that pay homage to George Romero's classic "Dawn of the Dead" from the undead teat. "There's still some goodies floating around out there," one insider informed us. "The well of zombie title wit hasn't completely dried up yet!" We at GPS initially struggled to come up with our own clever Romero tribute titles, but found that there are indeed a few more lurking at the bottom of the brain barrel.



JOHN OF THE DEAD

A truly creative mind would know that this title just reeks of potential. What if you could get someone like John Travolta to be in your zombie movie? Travolta was the king of cool well before he was waxing poetically about the McDonald's menu in Amsterdam, and "John of the Dead" could be the ultimate Romero compliment.


RON OF THE DEAD

The former king of porn.......zombies.......imagine the commotion! Ron Jeremy's undead phallus has already appeared in "The One Eyed Monster," but they really dropped the ball with that title which leaves room for "Ron of the Dead" to be snatched up by a burgeoning cinematic genius. We're getting boners just thinking about the possibility of the hedgehog starring in his own proper zombie opus. 


DON OF THE DEAD

This one would be great because you're basically calling the film "Dawn of the Dead" without being sued. We picked Don Johnson for our model here because he looks badass blasting the brains out of the zombie in his bitchin 80's supercoat.


KE HUY QUAN OF THE DEAD

Key Huy Quan batted two for two in the 80's with both "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" and "The Goonies" becoming smash hits. What the hell ever happened to this guy? He's clearly box office gold so it would be a no-brainer (hehe get it?) to bring his career back from the dead in his own zombie tale. Combine Data's gadgetry witnessed in "Goonies" with undead fisticuffs and get horror movie bliss!

Quan springing his "BOOTY TRAPS" on the undead

The apocalypse is nigh for the inventively titled zombie genre, but there could still be some snappy titles out there that pay "Dawn of the Dead" its due respect. Filmmakers should act quickly because these gems won't last long, and we're already penning our own script for "Ke Huy Quan of the Dead." GPS has learned that when the well is tapped, studios will look to capitalize on Sam Raimi's classic "The Evil Dead" for their next source of inspiration. Ideas for "Evil Ned," "Evil Fred," and "Evil Ted" are already being bandied about. If these fail, who knows how long it will be until the satirical zombie rises from the grave again.

More From The Twisted Mind Of MarkusWelby 

14 comments:

  1. Haha! Love Don Of The Dead! That would be an awesome movie.

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  2. @Ty.....Don is pretty good....I'm partial to Quan of the dead myself!

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  3. HAHAH Great piece again my friend!!

    Loving this site more and more every week!!

    Juan of the Dead looks a mental film too!!

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  4. @Scott.......as always, thanks for the kind words! I'm actually hearing that despite its stupid title "Juan of the Dead" is a decent film and people have hopes that it will inspire more filmmakers from Cuba to strut their stuff.

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  5. Waiting for Tron of the Dead to be an inevitable mashup film. But I would pay good money to see Quan of the Dead

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  6. @Tars Tarkas.......HOLY SHIT...how did I miss "Tron of the Dead"? excellent one!

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  7. "KE HUY QUAN OF THE DEAD" That is hilarious!!!
    I'd pay to see some Rae Dawn Chong of the Dead... or a mash-up like Twilight:Breaking Dawn of the Dead... or, keeping the Asian theme, Ken Jeong of the Dead

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  8. @Kaiderman.......hmmmmmm....perhaps I need to re-title my post. There are apparently many more clever zombie titles yet to be mined.

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  9. Don of the Dead, brilliant! And he has to wear his 80s white blazer whilst he's blasting peop... er zombies off, he..he..

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  10. @ruth......of course! That's why I chose that picture! The white supercoat isn't the most 80's thing ever.....it's the BEST 80's thing ever!

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  11. Agree with Kai - Ke Huy Quan of the Dead is priceless.

    I'd like to submit Lawn of the Dead and Gone Baby Gone of the Dead.

    There's a lot of untapped potential in the "-ight of the Living Dead" series, as well as the "-ay of the Dead" series. Bay of the Dead featuring Michael Bay would feature so many exploding zombies you won't know what to do with yourself.

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  12. @Dylan......you are correct again sir. I shall rework the post and give you full credit of course. Gone Baby Gone of the Dead is hilarious!

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  13. Bay of the Dead is a photoshop wet dream.

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  14. @Sir Phobos.......do it.....do it!

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