As I sat down to shit on the latest Twilight movie, something occurred to me. I asked myself, "Self, what's even worse than images like the one above?" To which my...self replied, "Self, someone who's not famous recreating stupid shit like the image above." And thus, this post took shape. I'm going to pit the real deal against their understudy doppelgangers and see who comes out victorious in a picture battle. What does victory mean in a bout such as this? It means regardless of who wins, neither camp can show their face in polite society again. It's a win for everyone, including me.
Round 1:
First up is four people standing in a room.
Actual Twilight cast
vs.
Twilight cosplayers
My instinct says to go with the higher budgeted version, but in this case, my instinct is wrong. For one, the cosplayers don't have the cast member in the blue shirt with one hand in his pocket. Just look at that guy. Secondly, the cosplayer on the far right does a pretty damn good job of looking like the idiot in the actual sceenshot. He doesn't have sweater over his shirt, thus allowing the collar to poke out of it, but it's still pretty good. I think it's his eyes. I can't tell if he's scared or insane.
Verdict: cosplayers
Round 2:
Next, we have Bella and Edward.
Actual Twilight cast
vs.
Twilight cosplayers
I have to give it to the cosplayers yet again. In none of my image searches did I find a picture of Edward looking as much like a young Hugh Hefner as our cosplayer does here. More importantly, just think about it: This guy wants to impress a girl so badly that he's willing to dress up as a sparkly vampire and have his picture taken while doing so. I would not do that.
Verdict: cosplayers
Round 3:
A battle of the Jacobs.
Actual Twilight cast
vs.
Twilight cosplayer
OK, I'm not blind. The actual Jacob gets this one. This cosplayer looks like shit. Sadly, I have nothing more to say about this round.
Verdict: actual Twilight cast
Round 4:
People in the woods.
Actual Twilight cast
vs.
Twilight cosplayers
It's kind of a wash. I don't think either party put much effort into this. Considering one side spent millions of dollars to look like dipshits standing around some trees while the other side was probably standing around some trees just because, I'm forced to give it to the cosplayers. Fair warning, though...I expect better forest cosplaying in the future.
Verdict: cosplayers
Final vote tally: Twilight cosplayers 3, actual Twilight cast 1
It seems the real cast members have some work cut out for them in order to match the ferocious dedication of their fans. Except for that Jacob dude. His halloween costumes probably all suck.
I lol'd
ReplyDeleteGo cosplayers :)
ReplyDeleteJulian...yes. They deserved the win. This time.
ReplyDeleteCosplay is awesome when done right. I actually did a short documentary on it
ReplyDeleteI've cosplayed once, but it wasn't that good. Finding time/money for a good one can be hard to find
Btw Phobos did you look at the documentary i sent you yet?
ReplyDeleteHAHAH I think I may have given more to the cast if I am honest. I hate the films but cosplay freaks me out
ReplyDeleteWhat the heck is cosplay?
ReplyDeleteAhahaha "People in the woods"... Hilarious post :) You should also have the pack of wolves in there. Can't believe people actually dress up to cosplay, this is hilarious shit.
ReplyDelete@Scott Cosplay isn't for everyone. Twilight cosplay should be for no one.
ReplyDelete@Dan It's just where people dress up as their favorite characters from movies, shows, etc.
@Castor Yea, I couldn't find any shirtless cosplayers. I guess they're all self-conscious.
How much would one have to pay you to sit and watch all of the Twilight movies Sir Phobos? I think you should watch them and take pictures of how you are deteriorating throughout the process.
ReplyDeleteI think something over minimum wage. Maybe closer to what I actually make an hour. If we're talking a marathon, then I'll have to ask for at least $30 an hour.
ReplyDelete