GPSerious: I Wish I Was Bound with Jennifer Tilly.

Remember when the Wachowskis were still awesome? Well, before The Matrix made them officially awesome, they directed a little movie called Bound. It stars Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon, and Joe Pantoliano, and it's a sexy noir thriller about two lesbian lovers who decide to fuck the mob out of 2 million dollars.


Andy and Lana Wachowski are two people who I wish never became famous. At least not the post-Matrix kind of famous. I have to think that if they were only successful instead of trend-settingly successful, they might have calmed down a bit and continued making sweet little movies. Instead, we're left with The Matrix and its awful sequels, Speed Racer, and...Speed Racer, I guess. Way to use up 12 years of your lives, you two. But fuck all that noise, because Bound is great.

First of all, you have one of the sexiest women ever in it. Jennifer Tilly was born to play roles like this. Her sultry voice and cadence works perfectly for the kind of noir character she was tasked with portraying, and by the way, her lover is Gina Gershon. Not just any Gina Gershon, but a Gina Gershon that can fix your plumbing problems then crack open a cold one.

Tilly is sexy as hell. I'd seriously consider stealing 2 million dollars for her, but only if we could use some of it to buy a waterbed. 

Spoiler: it doesn't end with drinks.

In true GPS fashion, I won't go too much into the meat of the story. I prefer to let the movie do most of the talking. So far, all I've talked about is my affinity for Tilly and Gershon. They go a long way to sell me on the plot, but they're only half of what makes Bound what it is. The other half occurs once they go through with their heist. It really only takes place in one setting, but the tension comes from watching the two lovers as Joe Pantoliano totally loses his shit when he finds the money gone.

Before the shit hits the fan.

Don't worry, you have no idea how anything will play out.

I'll be buying this on DVD as soon as I can. It's that good. I'm not sure what I liked more about it; the sexuality was both handled smartly and gave real glimpses into Tilly & Gershon's characters without going overboard with either. On the other hand, I could do nothing but wring my hands for the last quarter of the movie, as everyone I watched was on pins and needles.

"We make our own choices; we pay our own prices."

I'll leave the details up to your DVD player for when you decide to watch this gem. It's one I'd watch any day of the week and twice on Saturday. Man, Jennifer Tilly...whew.