GPShopping: BLACK FRIDAY MADNESS

Twas an hour before midnight at my local Best Buy

my belly was stuffed from too much turkey and pie

lines formed around the block, but I actually didn't care

because I knew what I wanted would surely be there

No line to big for this capitalist pig

When the doors finally opened there arose such a clatter

I had cut to the front because all the other dumb shits didn't matter

Into the store I flew like a flash

There were bargains on sale and I had hard cash

Welby leads the attack with all others in back

 I found my item quickly as I fought through the fray

just barely escaping the lady with pepper spray

security escorted her out and she started to yell

"That man took my TV you assholes go to HELL!"

This unhappy lady used lots of pepper spray

on the eyes of this TV thief so he wouldn't get away

Nothing to do now except go up front and pay

but the line started at the back of the store much to my dismay

I couldn't cut again that just wouldn't be right

and I realized this purchase might take all damned night
 

the line may be long, but I'll remain strong 

I finally made it out and held my head high

as a man with a new plasma happily walked by

I said, "that's pretty good pal, but not as good as mine

 cause you just can't beat Sucker Punch for $7.99"

this man is happy but I have a hunch

his prize is not worthy like Snyder's Sucker Punch

My truck sped out of the lot and into the street

I was totally exhausted but my mission was complete

As visions of Baby Doll danced through my head

I realized my Black Friday is over HOLY CRAP time for bed.