James Cameron is on top of the world. Not only does he have the two highest-grossing films in cinema history, but he also has plans to transform our species into something more. Something better. Taller, even. And blue. That's right; Disney has secured the rights to begin building an Avatar theme park. That might sound normal enough, but I bet you didn't count on them recreating the virtual reality stations used in the movie to vicariously live as Na'vi. Have you ever wanted to run at a (probable) top speed of 50 MPH while kicking flying beasts in the face? How about jumping on top of a mech and stabbing it to death with a Bowie knife? Well, now's your chance.
Starting sometime in 2018, human brains will begin the syncing process with live, non-human hosts. Naturally, Cameron was eager to discuss the project, saying, "I conquered the world of film. Twice. Boooooring. I scoured the depths of the ocean for 13 years. Yaaaawn. What do I have left to accomplish? Oh, not much, really. Just a little thing called TRANSFORMING AND EVOLVING THE HUMAN RACE. You wouldn't know anything about that, now, would you? Who are you again?"
"Park-goers will be given the chance to hear, see, and touch the world of Avatar with an unprecedented sense of reality."
GPS wasn't able to sustain a coherent interview long after that last quote, but suffice it to say, James Cameron is a man on a mission. The end goal might be a bit hazy, but the journey towards it is anything but. We're talking giant robots, disembodied 'Nam-esque flashbacks, and maybe even blue-skinned alien sex shared with a loved one. If the overall body mass is drastically increased....I'm just saying. The possibilities are truly endless. We'll report back once we've had a chance to throw away our humanity in favor of a prehensile tail and a sweet vertical.
Dang, I was hoping the park would simulate being an insecure gazillionaire while being a total prick to everyone on the set of your movie. And your name would rhyme with Cames Jameron.
ReplyDeleteI would say the actual park is an extension of that. I've always heard he was hard to work with, but I also always thought the results spoke for themselves. They still do, I guess.
ReplyDeleteCames Jameron should be ashamed.