Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Hilary Swank To Portray Justin Bieber In New Biopic



It only took eighteen years plus a few pubic hairs, but the epic story of teeny-bopper singing sensation Justin Bieber is finally getting the grand Hollywood treatment. It has recently been revealed that two time Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank will portray Bieber in "Million Dollar Bieber." Swank is eager to try her luck again after her first biopic about pilot Amelia Earhart crashed and burned at the box office. Internet rumors have long suspected that Swank and Bieber are actually the same person so it's no surprise that the talented actress nabbed the much coveted role from the large pool of thespians vying for it. 


Even though she already closely resembles the pop star, Swank has been working with some of the best makeup artists in the business to complete her transformation into Beebs. "He's a guy that kind of looks like a girl, and I'm a girl that kind of looks like a guy," Swank says. "The key is to merge the right amount of feminine and masculine qualities into one and I think we'll be able to do that!" Hilary will also be developing a more method acting approach to her new role and will be insisting that everybody refer to her as Sweebs on the set. "We'll be chronicling his earliest days on Youtube all the way to the groupie paternity scandal," the actress said in a determined voice. "That's a lot of dramatic material to cover for the four years he's been on the scene! People absolutely need to believe I'm Sweebs, and referring to me as such only helps my performance!"

Beebs on the left and makeup enhanced Sweebs on the right....or is it the other way around?

Studios have high hopes that "Million Dollar Bieber" will stand next to other great biopics about musicians such as "Ray" and "Walk the Line." Could Swank's performance as Sweebs net her a third Oscar nomination? Audiences will have to wait until spring of 2013 to find out, and Bieber will have to wait another two years after that to be old enough to buy beer. A most unbearable wait either way you look at it!

15 comments:

  1. Ahah, poor Hilary! Y'know she's actually too erm, manly to play Bieber, I mean she's very buff and all. But I suppose w/ the right haircut...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I dunno Ruth, I think she's got just the right amount of feminine masculine qualities to pull it off!

      Delete
  2. Brilliant post as usual!

    She is a shoe-in for another Oscar...or a Kid's choice award!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd put my money on the Kid's choice award.

      Delete
  3. The resemblance is uncanny and Bieber is an obvious and crucial choice for a biopic. But if there is a scheduling conflict down the road, maybe they can get Emma Watson for the role!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sweebs kinda looks like Keira Knightley!

    I'm probably going to catch flak for this, but I think Swank is kinda hot... :0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know sometimes she can actually look kind of hot. But sometimes not so much! I can see Keira a little in my crappy MS paint job, but that's swanks face on bieber.....sweebs!

      Delete
  5. I might start camping out now so I can be first in line for tickets to this awesome film.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There will be Star Wars level anticipation for Sweebs!

      Delete
  6. I was sold on Million Dollar Bieber alone. The sequel could be Never Swank Never, perhaps?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweebs is actually one of my proudest crappy MS paint jobs ever!

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete