Monday, May 14, 2012

We've Come to Kick Lambs and Chew Bubble Gum



The Lammys are upon us all, and we here at GPS want to give you a lot of reasons to vote for us. We're eligible for several categories, including Best Blog and Best New LAMB, but the one we're really gunning for is Funniest Writer. Why should you want to see that winning banner on our site? Well, continue reading and I'll show you. I've already seen what's past the jump. It's pretty sweet.


Do you remember our exposé on all those Harry Potter-worshipping cultists? Here's an excerpt:

"Rapture expert Harold Camping may have recalculated the end for this October, but the serious Harry Potter fans know better. In anticipation of the final film in the series "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2," a sub-section of die-hards have split from the main fan club and migrated south to a compound in northwestern Guyana. In the weeks leading up to the end, an organization calling themselves the New Order Luminaries Involved in the Franchise End or N.O.L.I.F.E. will spend their time celebrating the universe inhabited by the fictitious wizard."

N.O.L.I.F.E. leader Arnold Higgenbothom



What about when we broke the story on the long-awaited Gymkata sequel:

"'Well, first of all,' Thomas said, 'you'll notice that the poster hasn't changed much. When I sat down to write the script to the sequel, I realized what the fans really wanted. More of the same, right? I didn't want to bog the picture down with a lot of back-story or melodrama, so I kept it simple and sweet. There's me, split-kicking two ninjas in the face. So I'll be doing more of that.'"


 Yes, ninjas have uzis. Duh.



Oh, yea. There's also that one time we sat down with George Lucas to discuss his new Star Wars release:

"After being herded into a special screening room at Skywalker Ranch, GPS was treated to a brief montage of clips from what Lucas has dubbed the 'Extra Extra Special Editions' followed by a Q&A session with the bearded one. What we witnessed was nothing short of amazing, and we were extremely enthused to have George tell us a little more about the digital recasting process. 'Looking back on it......the original cast really bothers me and I'm just not satisfied with it anymore,' Lucas declared. 'I thought this would be a great chance to go back and fix what's wrong with it'" 

 
Lucas not satisfied with original cast anymore



A personal favorite of mine was when we caught up with Terrence Malick after he fell asleep while watching The Tree of Life:

"Terrence Malick was caught snoozing over the weekend during a special screening of  his latest film, The Tree of Life, which is about the majesty of the sun as it makes all metaphors possible and Brad Pitt wearing a fedora while beating his kids or something. GPS found the director after the event, and his explanation for his heavy eyelids isn't what you'd expect. On second thought, maybe it is."


 
 Malick, circled in red, was in good company for his screening of The Tree of Life.



After all of that evidence, you shouldn't need any more incentive to vote Green People Soup Funniest Writer at this year's Lammys, right? If you still do, feel free to peruse the rest of the site. I'm pretty sure you'll find something to like. For instance, If you prefer to laugh at Arnold Schwarzenegger, we have you covered. If you'd rather hear Ted Theodore Logan tell you how Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is historically inaccurate, this would better suit your needs.

Also, don't forget to follow myself and Markus on Twitter, where we update our fans with grocery lists and bathroom breaks in-between movies:

@CallMeSirPhobos
@MarkusWelby1

All you have to do now is vote for us, LAMB #999. I should note that you have to be a member of the LAMB, which is a giant collection of movie blogs/bloggers. It wouldn't take long, though, and you'd be turning our long-standing banner envy into something we can all enjoy. Plus, I really want to write an acceptance speech. 

19 comments:

  1. Yeah...you guys got a few votes from us in the bag. Good luck!

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  2. I gave you guys a nom.

    Now where is my thank you hooker?

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  3. Good sir, i expected delivery of a hooker for my vote.

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  4. I also voted for you guys. I continue to think about and laugh at that Terrence Malick story months after the fact. That shit is so good.

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    Replies
    1. Many thanks, man. I also continuously laugh at Terrence Malick for months on end.

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  5. Good luck! You guys deserve to win for the Terence Malick and The Raid posts!

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    Replies
    1. Awesome, I really appreciate you saying that.

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  6. Thanks everyone for your AWESOME support! We sincerely appreciate the LAMMY love!

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  7. You guys are getting my vote for funniest blog

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    Replies
    1. You, good sir, are a scholar and a gentleman.

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    2. If you don't get funniest blog, I will be more shocked than I was during the 2000 Presidential Election.

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  8. ...and what category did you want to get nominated in?! ;)

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  9. As Chariman of the Unfunniest Lamb Smear Campaign, I consider it my duty to refute the factual inaccuracies presented in this post.

    Namely, that you guys are funny.

    The truth is out there. And it's my job to tell the people about it.

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    Replies
    1. How dare you! Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain people!

      Delete