It was always Jason Segel's dream to work with the muppets on film, but now he's apparently taken his love for the popular characters a little too far. He wrote and starred in this years reboot of "The Muppets," but the critics who gave that movie universal acclaim may not be so smitten with his unofficial sequel. A recording of the actor and comedian having sex with Miss Piggy has been leaked to the internet, and the executives at Disney are none too happy about the public relations nightmare that has ensued in the aftermath.
The sex tape known as "Porking Piggy In A Blanket" has become a viral sensation, and clearly shows Segel engaging in lascivious acts with Kermit the Frog's squeeze. Segel appears to be drinking heavily during the whole twenty nine minute video, and is often smiling proudly at the perversion he has created. "Mental health professionals don't even have a name yet for what I'm doing," he shouts to the camera at one point. "It's muppets and fucking.........hey it's MUCKING!.....HA...HA...HA!"
Segel sucking down booze while Piggy sucks something else
Porking Piggy "the other white meat"
Segel couldn't be reached for comment, but GPS attempted to gain a little insight from his "How I Met Your Mother" co-star Neil Patrick Harris. "Dude...don't ask me about Jason.. I don't even know where the fuck I am right now. I was at this party earlier tonight and hooked up with this guy that had some some incredible X....I've been trippin balls ever since!"
NPH: "I'm trippin balls"
Even though NPH wasn't very helpful, we were fortunate enough to speak with Kermit about how he now feels about Segel, Piggy, and the sex tape debacle. "It's not easy being green, but I guess when you're a pig you're just plain easy," the disappointed frog told us. "Piggy's like the town bicycle seat and everyone gets to ride that hog now. As for Jason....fuck that guy! The brass at Disney were ready to give us two more Muppet sequels and now he's completely ruined everything. I hope he enjoys his pig-sloppy seconds!"
Kermit: "Segel is getting pig-sloppy seconds!"
Disney executives have decided to pull "The Muppets" from theaters while they deal with the bad publicity their two stars have caused them. "Porking Piggy In A Blanket" is currently one of the most popular viral videos ever, and it's been viewed millions of times at this point. By recording himself fucking a muppet, Segel may have just fucked the future of the muppets franchise for good!