Tuesday, December 13, 2011

GPSerious: Tebow And Divine Intervention Power Bronco's Win Streak

The so called experts seem to have no answer as to how the Denver Broncos stay victorious with a quarterback with such "limited" skills behind center, but yet the team keeps on winning in miraculous fashion. Tebow wears his religious faith on his sleeve for all to see, and at this point in their six game win streak, it's hard to argue that there isn't some sort of divine intervention taking place on the field. Tebow is one of the most polarizing figures in all of sports and........oh shit......this isn't a sports blog. Sorry about that. Let's talk about some movie quarterbacks who kick more ass than Tebow.

Paul Crewe "The Longest Yard" 1974

Tebow is all about faith, but Burt Reynold's Crewe is all about redemption. After a point shaving scandal gets him kicked out of the NFL and a drunk driving police chase lands him in prison, Crewe finds himself at the bottom of the barrel. His fellow inmates hate him for cheating the game, and to make matters worse, the warden blackmails him into throwing an organized contest against the prison guards. Under threat of an extended prison sentence if he doesn't comply, Crewe has a chance to exorcise old demons and prove that he has the courage of his convictions. One of the greatest pigskin films ever to grace the screen. 

Johnny Utah "Point Break" 1991

Keanu's Utah is a former Ohio State Buckeye stud, F.B.I. agent, amateur surfer, and ass kicker extraordinaire. His manly feats in this film are far too great to be listed completely. He skydives, robs a bank, and beats the shit out the singer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers to name but a few. He'd be considered the number one draft choice for any action movie script based on his resume, and he also speaks Spanish. Vaya con dios!

Flash Gordon "Flash Gordon" 1980

Jesus Christ is Tebow's lord and savior, but he's got nothing on the savior of the universe. Flash takes his team above and beyond the stars, and his fourth quarter comeback against Ming the Merciless is the stuff of legend. His groupies are fucking hot, and he kicks ass while listening to the band Queen. It simply doesn't get any better than that. Go Flash go!

Flash scores with groupies.....

and a kick ass Queen soundtrack.....TOUCHDOWN!


  1. Ahah this is just hilarious. In reality, it really has to do with defenses playing prevent at the end of the 4th quarter, allowing Tebow to do what he does best, running around wildly with little pass rush in his face.

    And let's face it. Hollywood has yet to produce a truly awesome movie QB :D

  2. @Castor...what are you talking about? Flash is the most badass movie QB evah!

  3. Hi Markus, did you know Keanu also played a QB in The Replacements? Pretty believable, too :)

  4. @Ruth...yeah but that guy was no Johnny Utah. You're right though, perhaps that should have gotten a mention.

  5. Playing football at West Canaan may have been the opportunity of your life, but I DON'T WANT...YOUR LIFE!!

    And that's all I'm saying.