Okay, I have nothing else of interest to say until next week, but I've been looking at my DVD collection, and something stands out. Something monstrous. Something hideous. So hideous, in fact, that I cannot look away. Yes, I'm talking about really shitty Photoshop jobs on DVD covers. Keep reading to see the horrendous, apocalypse-inducing, dehumanizing airbrushing that can only happen when someone either hates their job or gets paid to suck at it.
I didn't cheat and scour the internet for random, shitty DVD covers. I did it the old fashioned way by just looking at the stuff on my shelf. I've had the DVD of Groundhog Day for a while, and every time I've looked at it, I've been disgusted. I know what Bill Murray looks like. It's constantly the '80s and '90s in my head, so I'm well-versed on the nuances that are Mr. Murray's facial features. That aside, I know what an actual human being looks like. And guess what? The DVD cover of Groundhog Day features no humans whatsoever.
Hey, look at what I just noticed. The gods are smiling on me tonight, because if you look at the tiny Murray inside the alarm clock, you'll find the same exact head that's front and center, only Photoshopped onto an entirely different body. The clock version of Murray doesn't even have a neck. Bravo, whoever made the decision to do that. Not only did you make Bill Murray look like a mannequin with dead, lifeless eyes and corpse-pale skin, but now it's on there twice. Granted, you have to look a bit harder to see it the second time, but it's there. I'm not even sure if the .jpg accurately captures just how bad the DVD in my hands looks, but I think it gets the point across.
The goal of this post is to get you guys to show me whatever asstastic DVD covers you can find, but I have to give a brief, honorable mention to one more Bill Murray DVD cover. It's not quite as bad, but there are still no humans on that shit. Just like Groundhog Day, I love Scrooged. A Christmas Carol can only be told in so many different ways, but name me another movie where a man gets hit in the face with a toaster by a fairy played by Carol Kane. Oh, and did any of you realize that Scrooged was directed by Richard Donner? Holy shit. Aaaaanyways...
Dogshit. That's not even real hair, and I think his eyes and teeth are glowing. Kind of like the nuclear explosion covering New York.
As I stated above, my whole point in doing this is to see what other random shit you guys can come up with. There has to be an untold number of really bad Photoshop jobs on DVD covers that I've yet to feast my eyes upon. I want to feast upon them, really. I just need some help. What are some of the worst offenders you've come across? There needs to be some kind of Hall of Fame museum where we can put things like this up for display. If the people who visit the holocaust museum could only see what atrocities are being committed every year with these DVD covers...
...yea, that was over-the-top, but man, these covers are bad. What say you?