Monday, April 23, 2012

GPS VS The Raid: Redemption


There have been rumblings in the halls of movie-geekdom lately about an Indonesian film guaranteed to pummel the privates of any action fan who would dare try and withstand its awesome might. We've heard it's the most important action film in decades, and some are calling it the "Indonesian Die Hard." Our fellow brother of the blogosphere Fogs reviewed it here and claims, "Holy Mary Mother of God!" That's a healthy heaping of hype to live up to, and quite frankly, we just don't believe it. The dynamic duo here at GPS collectively have almost sixty years of genre watching experience, and we feel there's nothing an action film can show us nowadays that we've not seen a million times before. Now we hate to brag, but allow us to show you our resumes so they can speak for themselves before we take on "The Raid: Redemption."


Welby the Warrior

 jaded action vet extraordinaire

ACTION FILM WATCHING STYLE: You could call it the art of watching without watching. When a bad guy gives a five minute long speech instead of blowing the hero's brains all over the floor, I don't even need to have my eyes open to know the villain's ego will allow the tables to be turned on his narcissistic ass at some point. I have spent many years seeing Seagal survive with nary a scratch to show for it, and was in the theater way back in the day when Daniel-San defeated the Cobra-Kai with his thunderous crane kick.  I've seen "First Blood" almost a hundred times so if "The Raid: Redemption" wants a war......I'll give them a war they won't believe!

EXPECTATIONS: These Indonesian guys are typically pretty small so my 6-2 200lb plus frame should be able go the distance. I don't play fair, and I will sweep that wounded leg. Get em a body bag YEAH!

Phobo-S.W.A.T. 

combatant of the cliche

ACTION FILM WATCHING STYLE: Do these guys even know who Chuck Norris is over in Indonesia? Chuck + Jackie Chan + Tony Jaa + Chow-Yun-Fat = "The Raid: Redemption" knocked on its ass! I am the drunken movie master with several thousand inebriated hours notched on my beer belt. There are action films in my collection that span the globe and only play on region free DVD players. My watching experience has taken me to Thailand, Japan, Korea and more. Indonesia should be just another blip on the map that will have my boot print all over it when the movie is finished!

EXPECTATIONS: My smaller size should allow me to equal the speed of the Indonesians. I'm taking "Oldboy's" hammer with me and I intend to whack "The Raid: Redemption" right into the hallway of Hell!


Welby & Phobos ready to battle "The Raid: Redemption"


The Screening

 Needless to say, we both felt extremely confident going in. We had our cocksure attitudes firing on all cylinders along with a plate of those disgusting theater nachos to sustain us just in case "The Raid" got in a lucky shot or two. But when the lights went out and "The Raid: Redemption" began, we quickly realized we were over matched, out gunned, and unprepared for the Indonesian onslaught that was occurring on screen.


Phobos' much touted speed proved to be useless


Welby attempted to bring a knife to a gun fight


 GPS Knocked the F#@K out by "The Raid: Redemption"


The Aftermath

We stumbled out of the theater humiliated, bloodied, and bruised. Somehow we were able to make it home, assess the damage, and ask ourselves....."what the Hell just happened to us?"


Phobos with the punch

PUNCH: I think the machete melee squad mayhem was just too much for me to handle and those Indonesians are so quick there were times I didn't even see them on the screen.........fuck.


Welby with the counter-punch

COUNTER-PUNCH: Death by incandescent light has to be a movie first for me and I think I was rendered unconscious shortly after that.



Final Thoughts

All kidding aside, "The Raid: Redemption" is one of the greatest action spectacles to ever be committed to film we shit you not. We at GPS eagerly await a sequel, but will take the time until then to get some much needed blood transfusions and physical therapy for our aching bodies. 


 Phobos & Welby will be considering chick flicks from now on











66 comments:

  1. LOL... This post was AWESOME.

    I need to nominate you guys for Funniest Lamb for sure for the Lammies. :D

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    1. Thanks bro! It's always nice when someone else appreciates our sense of humor. Juvenile though it may be!

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  2. We need to build our own drug empire, buy up a high-rise, and invite them for round two. My jaw hurts.

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    1. I agree completely, but first I think it wise to research and see if there is another country out there with even smaller and more vicious people to have on OUR side. This is WAR!

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  3. Also, make sure your highrise is renovated in true, drug-lord-tenement style: complete with peeling paint, a dilapidated plumbing and heating system, and an $85K, state-of-the-art video surveillance system to monitor each and every hallway and door. Bolt the cameras to the wall securely so the meth heads don't just rip them down and take them to a pawn shop - you'll be relying on this system later.

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    1. I want a vicious-dog room. You know, where I hold people for a while.

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    2. True all drug kingpin tenements must look and feel absolutely authentic. There must be peeling paint on the outside to mask all the high tech goodness within the walls.

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  4. hahaa... LOL
    i'm an Indonesian pencak silat practition, every martial arts has it's own unique style (sorry my english is bad)

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    1. That is awesome! We absolutely loved watching Pencak Silat in the movie!

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    2. Teach me how to slam a man's throat through a door jam. Thanks in advance.

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    3. haha! that's too cruel
      This is some video of my style
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhswq2Ixy1Q
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl1ZezxHpHM
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNp_914ugZM
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA42K81bF1s
      how do you think, it's like dancing :P
      FYI that's only for demo

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  5. The Raid : "Parody" Redemption

    i give u 7 out of 5 stars. lol

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    1. hey we'll gladly take that score! Thanks!

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    2. And in return, you get 14 out of 10. Much appreciated.

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  6. holy f**k, very entertaining guys :D:D:D

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    1. Thank you Solie. We're glad you liked it!

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  7. fucking funny man, I was like smiling myself at the office. Keep up the good work fellas. @Markus Welby: wow you can speak Indonesian too now :)

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    1. thanks a lot! We'll keep writing if you keep reading!

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  8. Absolutely hilarious post! The Raid rocked the house...it was such a blast to watch all that carnage. The fights were excellent.

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    1. here's an interesting fact: he does 500 pushup and situp every morning and before he train his student, he'll ask the student to form a line to hit or kick him. Beside that he's just a humble and funny little guy.

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    2. Thanks Ty. Yeah we love this film!

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    3. Your welcome.

      Mad Dog was the best!

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    4. Mad Dog stole the damn movie! Check both of those dudes out in Merantau if you haven't already!

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    5. Totally agree, Merantau was great too!

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  9. Oh, geez, when the sequel comes out, it will kill you guys! Better pump up the "Your the best, around" montage music!

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  10. LOL...great review guys :)
    Speaking of Pencak Silat there is an Indonesian Silat School in the USA in Utah called the 'Merpati Putih USA' or in short 'MP USA'. It teaches you the Inner Power of your body. You can break iron bars with your fingers, hand & leg etc. Here is the link for the demo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69nViiQzH6Q

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    1. Wow...didn't know Silat had taken off in the U.S.A. yet! Breaking iron bars with your fingers should be a skill everyone can enjoy.

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    2. Certain branches of Merpati Putih Silat school also teach people to see or read with closed eyes, a skill very useful for blind people.
      Merpati Putih and some other silat schools also teach students a special technique which makes their bodies could withstand the stabbing of bladed weapons without getting injured at all. But that's a higher technique not all student could master. My late uncle had this skill.
      I'm not sure if MP USA teaches these skills.

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  11. I think, both of you could beat Iko Uwais easily~ just make sure you bring some crackers/snack ex: Tacos, chips... And when you face him in on a fight, just throw the tacos at him, he will ran away instantly~ hehehe
    interesting fact: Iko has a funny weakness, he has a crackers phobia, if you dont believe check the Youtube guys~ :)
    see u

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    1. hushh,, don't tell Iko that's new Raid site is crackers factory.. kekekeke....

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    2. LOL!! i believe Iko is the first person who escape\run fast from the factory/the site~ because he cant stand Crackers~
      Everytime he saw "Kerupuk" (Indonesian crackers), he will run away fast like Flash~ xD

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    3. No, He does not Like crackers...
      He scared to death at crackers...
      Maybe it called crackermatize~ LOL~
      Just see Youtube guys~
      Btw, Review yang Bagus dan Keren, Saya suka sekali ^^
      Salam hangat dari Indonesia :D
      @tetty269

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  12. U make me LOL
    Photo's of Welby attempted to bring a knife to a gun fight make me laugh laugh n laugh XD

    who not loved The Raid?! That's awesome movie even for me who loved all-action-Hongkong-style-things. The machete gang and mad dog freaked me out! Best scene ever!

    Btw, I'm Indonesian. Thank's for tweeting in bahasa ^^

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  13. Kami sangat senang Anda semua telah mengunjungi kami!

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  14. hahaha, this is funny, but kinda too short though.
    if it's a little bit longer, would it actually put you guys to a hospital???

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    1. A little bit longer and we might have been killed! Just the perfect amount of time!

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  15. love to watch u guys in theater session, knocked out with that movie.. lol.. great job !!! Great job too for Gareth and the crew from The Raid.. for me, u all raise the bar of action movie.. (bow down)

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    1. We agree! The Raid totally knocked us out!

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    2. Yea, I agree it raised the bar extremely high. The story was really well done, too.

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  16. You guys prove once again - even in miserable defeat - that you are beyond awesomeness. Way to commit to a post. Funny shit, and I haven't even seen The Raid yet. I love seeing the Total Pageviews counter at the bottom of your sidebar - BOOM! Congrats - you well deserve it.

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    1. I was hot as hell in those pads and helmet, and it wasn't even an actual riot suit. My career path to avoid has been chosen.

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    2. Thanks a bunch Dylan. We always appreciate it when you stop by!

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  17. Funny stuff, man!!! Oh btw I found you guys from Gareth's tweets :D thank you for liking and supporting a movie from our country!!

    You know, since you watched the subbed version, you (luckily) missed this film's only weaknesses =P One, the corny and sometimes awkward dialogue (when they got translated from Gareth's original English script to Bahasa),

    For example, "I love you" WAS indeed translated to "aku cinta kamu", but we Indonesians NEVER really said that in daily basis because it sounds soooo corny, and yet Rama spoke that line to his wife. Sometimes the words choice were very stiff (like Jaka's early briefing in the van), and other times they used slangs. So it didn't quite match.

    And second, the few actors' unclear articulations ^^ (especially Rama and Jaka's characters, and even Tama at nearing the end), making it hard to catch their words, let alone taking a conclusion.

    You Sir, are lucky to have watched the subtitled version, because with the subs, the movie might really has became flawless!!

    -love, Mel

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    1. Subtitles are the way I watch foreign movies if at all possible, and the stuff you brought up are all great reasons. That's awesome how you found us, too. We'll try to keep entertaining you.

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    2. Always seems like there's a chance something gets lost in translation going from culture to culture, but overall I think there is a universal appeal to the whole thing. We often joke about subtitled movies that we don't know if the actor is good or not when they're speaking another language!

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  18. Those are some manly pics of you guys

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    1. Yes the testosterone levels were extremely high that day!

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  19. oh man... that's funny... :))

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  20. Now thats what I call a review! Great work both of you guys. Love the photos, I can see you both lasting at least 15 seconds with Mad Dog, and that is a compliment. :-)

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    1. 15 seconds with Mad Dog seems like an awful long time!

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  21. EYO, I haven't seen this film, but "LOL" 4 ur post, nice pics.
    next time you have to make a video.

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    1. Thanks B12! We've toyed with the idea of a video, but we'll see. A lot more work!

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  22. it's good that you guys didn't make fun of Mad Dog. otherwise, he'll be coming after you and bring you HELL. ;D

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  23. ROFL LOOOLL..very funny yet entertaining dude! I knew your great review from the director gareth evans's tweet @ghuwevans oh man...you both are very creative! Btw i'm indonesian. Glad you like the movie, someday i want to teach you some pencak silat technique :)

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    1. Ini akan menjadi sebuah kehormatan untuk belajar dari Anda! We would be honored to learn from you!

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  24. dude.. very nice comedy from u guys and I would have to say, the actions are AWESOMEZZZZ!!!!!! just saw how strong mad dog in this video.. check it out !!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfUCH9WuHbs
    geezzz... i think give it to Hollywood will ruin it..

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    1. So glad you enjoyed our humor! Thank you for visiting us!

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