With found footage documentaries like "Paranormal Activity" and the more recent "Chronicle" becoming huge box office draws, you might ask yourself, "who finds this footage anyways?" Enter Mr. Bart Berglebeard. A self proclaimed "expert finder" of found footage, and adventurer responsible for finding the film left behind by ill-fated documentary productions. Berglebeard's famous treasures have included the aforementioned titles as well as some other notable gems like "The Blair Witch Project" and "Cloverfield." He usually has a knack for being in the right place at the right time and coming away with valuable film stock that often sheds light on how the people pictured in the films perish. But Berglebeard's good fortune may have finally run out. He has been reported missing by his wife Betty after failing to check in for several days while hunting for his latest found footage in the small town of Beersheeba Springs Tennessee. Mrs. Berglebeard was kind enough to spend some time with GPS in the hopes that telling their story may help find the finder of found film and bring him home.
A very concerned Betty Berglebeard
Betty says that Bart's unusual pastime started at a garage sale. "Bart and I are both fans of vintage 80's porn, and we were just looking for some good stuff with Ron Jeremy when we found our first found footage," Mrs. Berglebeard said introspectively. "We bought this stack of VHS tapes for a quarter, and it turned out to be a bunch of idiot kids wandering aimlessly through the woods with a video camera looking for a witch." Betty says her husband was fascinated by the hapless filmmakers plight and decided to build a small editing studio in their garage so he could piece their story together. "We started giving copies of the finished product to our friends, and somehow a copy found it's way to a movie studio executive who was willing to pay big bucks for it. After that, Bart saw the dollar signs and decided to make a career out of it. We get tips in the mail now from all over the world about where Bart might make a magnificent found film find."
Berglebeard would find the found footage.....
....then piece the story together in his home studio
It's the latest tip that Bart was following that might have gotten him into some serious trouble says Mrs. Berglebeard. "We got a letter in the mail containing a news article that read FILM CREW MISSING WHILE SEARCHING FOR GREEN PHANTOM DWARF. That's all the hook Bart needed. He packed his bags and was off to Tennessee." Betty says Bart usually checks in once a day, but after not hearing from him for an entire week, she knew things could be dire. "He's been exceptionally lucky," said Betty. "He's been able to outsmart ghosts, super powered teens, and witches.......but this time I think the Green Phantom Dwarf might have his number." Mrs. Berglebeard then broke down and started crying which ended our time with her.
The Beersheeba Springs police department currently have no leads on the whereabouts of the documentary film crew or Mr. Berglebeard. Did the expert finder of found film meet his fate by the hands of The Green Phantom Dwarf? Hopefully someone will be brave enough to head into the Tennesee mountains and discover the found footage that Bart was trying to find or we'll never find out.
alleged photo of Green Phantom Dwarf