Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Sylvester Stallone To Direct Black Swan 2

In a day and age where it's almost impossible to keep details about a movie production from leaking out, GPS was surprised to hear the news that Fox Searchlight Pictures have secretly been working on a sequel to the smash hit "Black Swan." Made for a paltry thirteen million dollars and grossing much much more, the studio heads are eager to make sure their dancing swan keeps laying golden eggs for their bank accounts. Natalie Portman has agreed to reprise her Oscar winning role as the troubled ballet dancer Nina, and a back in shape John Travolta will co-star. Since Darren Aronofsky turned down the chance to helm the next chapter, the powers that be have hired Sylvester Stallone for the job. Sly is no stranger to sequels about dancers, and promises that the saga of the bad girl ballet will positively knock out any doubters. Once again, GPS was given unprecedented access to all the yummy details about the Italian Stallion's production.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Fright Night 2011: One Sentence Review

 I didn't care too much for McLovin's Evil Ed, but Colin was badass as the blood-sucking undead!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Conan Treated By Wizard For Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction affects 18% of U.S. men on a yearly basis. Add one Cimmerian barbarian to the list now. Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a flaccid penis. In Conan's world of phallic imagery, bloody battles, and scantily clad ladies, a man truly lives and dies by his sword.......both of them. After one drunken evening found him desperately trying to hear the lamentations of the women without success, the savage warrior knew that it would only be a matter of time before word got out and Crom would cast him out of Valhalla for his sexual ineptitude. "How can I solve the riddle of steel when the riddle of wood is so terribly vexing?" the barbarian pondered.  Thus began an epic quest to seek out a wizard who could treat his emasculating condition.

On Location: Star Trek First Contact

I had so much fun with visiting the "Dirty Harry" film locations in San Francisco that I couldn't resist posting about other places I've been known for famous movie shoots. A couple of years ago, my employers sent me to Tucson Arizona where I got to visit the Titan II missile silo. The decommissioned military installation was used to convert an old Titan II 9 megaton missile replica into the spaceship Zefram Cochrane used for his first warp drive test in "Star Trek: First Contact." When I initially planned my visit to the museum I had no idea, but was giddy as a schoolgirl when I learned about the Star Trek connection. I'm not really a Trekkie......but I am a total movie dork. Enjoy.

The missile tricked out for Trek

My shot of the missile as it is now

You can see my "Dirty Harry" location visits right here  

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

MEET: Billy Jack.

Billy Jack is a half breed Cherokee Indian and former Green Beret. Billy Jack is a master of Hapkido. Billy Jack is pretty much pissed off all the time, but finds solace hanging with the bleeding heart liberal hippie kids at the Freedom School run by his homely girlfriend Jean. Billy Jack tries to control his temper...............but sometimes.......just sometimes..........the bigoted rednecks just make him go BERSERK! That's when Billy Jack puts on a display of ass kickery that predates the martial arts mastery Bruce Lee would make famous a few years later in American films. Pull off your boots and bare witness to the Jack attack! Meet Billy Jack!

Good ole American ass kickin in the name of hippie freedom!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Caesar And Billy Crystal To Host 84th Annual Academy Awards

84th Oscar Host Caesar

After the Eddie Murphy and Brett Ratner Oscar debacle, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has found its newest master of ceremonies for the 84th annual award show. A public relations rep for the academy made the announcement at a bustling press conference and GPS was there to get all the juicy details for next years big red carpet event. "The academy is proud to present Caesar as our host for the 2012 Oscars," the PR agent declared to a stunned audience. "We're also dusting the cobwebs off Billy Crystal to co-host and mentor Caesar for Hollywood's biggest night of the year!" The revelation of the latest host is fortuitous timing for Caesar as his first major motion picture "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" is currently hitting theaters nationwide.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Currently Obsessed With: Source Code

Eight minutes till the commuter train explodes. Eight minutes to discover the terrorists responsible and prevent further tragedy. Eight minutes to call your father one more time and reconcile. Eight minutes to fall in love. Eight minutes to come to grips with your situation and accept your fate. For army helicopter pilot Colter Stevens, those eight minutes must be spent well enough to last a lifetime or he'll have to repeat those eight minutes again........and again till he gets it right. Welcome to Duncan Jone's "Source Code." In an attempt to maintain the spirit of the film, I shall try to explain my fascination with this piece in eight sentences or less. Jones has crafted a nifty little time travel film......wait.....that's nine sentences already........damn......back to the source code.