John Carter: One Sentence Review

A $250 million dollar budget sure seems nice, but it would have been better spent providing starving kids with education, clothes, and rice.

250 million buys lots of rice

The Help: One Sentence Review

You could let this Jim Crow era tale pass you by, but you'd miss seeing an evil character eat a slice of shit pie.

One Sentence Review -The Thing (2011)

All the CG in the world couldn't feed me a scare...and nothing beats the showdown between MacCready and Blair.

The Wolfman Director's Cut: One Sentence Review

18 minutes added, but more time is required...for this piece of shit to not make me want to die in a fire.

Contagion: One Sentence Review

Soderbergh's latest won't make you sick, but Jude Law's character is a total prick.

Fright Night 2011: One Sentence Review

 I didn't care too much for McLovin's Evil Ed, but Colin was badass as the blood-sucking undead!

Green Lantern: One Sentence Review

For those who might worship Green Lantern's light, beware this film because it's shite.