The list of nominees for the 84th Annual Academy Awards were broadcast to news stations at 5:30 in the morning by a ravishing looking Jennifer Lawrence and apparently some other guy. Lawrence has been drawing critical raves by fashionistas for her bronze mane and periwinkle bib dress, but nobody seems to know who the man standing next to her was during the big announcement. "She was beautiful before she dyed her hair, but now she's simply a goddess to behold," a flamboyantly gay critic noted. "How she looked so fabulous so early in the morning is amazing, but who was that gross old man next to her trying to steal a little of the spotlight? Sorry honey, but she was the prize that glued my eyes!" GPS decided to do a little research and uncover the identity of the mystery man.
Flamboyantly gay fashion critic had no idea.....
........who this guy was
After making a few phone calls and pimping out our interns for some sexual favors, we were able to find out that the unknown older male next to Jennifer Lawrence was Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences president Tom Sherak. When asked if he felt jealous about the gorgeous Lawrence getting all the publicity, Sherak remained humble. "Jennifer looked fantastic and we'd love to have her back next year as our early A.M. three minute Oscar nominee announcement host. Besides, if anyone was looking at me, they might have noticed my huge boner I was getting by standing next to her."
this is Sherak's Bone not Winter's Bone