Avengers Aftermath Part II: Ungrateful EPA Stabs Heart Of Stark Industries With Probing Investigation

Earth's mightiest heroes have been basking in the glory after their defeat of Loki, but trouble looms ahead for the most popular earth bound Avenger. Not satisfied enough by the fact their planet was saved from evil Asgardian enslavement, the EPA has launched an investigation into Stark Industries arc reactor technology. The government agency believes Tony Stark AKA Iron Man's clean renewable energy source might not be all it's cracked up to be, and they're now demanding access to all of his facilities on what they call a "data probing" mission. Walter Peck, lawyer for New York City's third district EPA branch, will be spearheading the investigation of Stark Industries. As of right now, Stark's plans for giving the energy source to the world for free have been suspended indefinitely pending the outcome of the probe.

Scientific Study Proves DVD Cover of Timecop is Full of Shit

We here at GPS always train our interns to sniff out factual inaccuracies in movies and marketing material, and it looks like all that hard work has paid off yet again. After perusing the DVD of Jean-Claude Van Damme's seminal time travel movie, Timecop, it became apparent that some of the claims made on the back cover were suspect. In order to get to the bottom of this development, we interviewed leading specialists in various fields. As expected, philosophers, writers, and scientists all had strong opinions when it came to the back cover of the Timecop DVD.

We've Come to Kick Lambs and Chew Bubble Gum

The Lammys are upon us all, and we here at GPS want to give you a lot of reasons to vote for us. We're eligible for several categories, including Best Blog and Best New LAMB, but the one we're really gunning for is Funniest Writer. Why should you want to see that winning banner on our site? Well, continue reading and I'll show you. I've already seen what's past the jump. It's pretty sweet.

John Travolta Goes On Heterosexual Assault Binge to Prove He's Not Gay

It's been a busy few days for John Travolta. Already two male massage therapists have come forward with allegations of Travolta sexually assaulting and belittling them during massage sessions, and more could be on the horizon. Quick to combat any negative P.R., the known-Scientologist and pilot decided on an impromptu flight to Miami in order to prove he's not gay. The actor is quoted as saying, "You want me to prove it? Oh, man. You shouldn't have thrown that gauntlet down."

The Five Things I Can Do Better than Jackie Chan

So, I was just sitting around watching The Spy Next Door, and the thought occurred to me: "Hey, wait a minute. Why can't an international spy who's brought down dictators make breakfast without setting off a smoke detector?" That's a profound question, indeed, and it led me to my current belief that I'm well-equipped to deal with the dual existence of being a CIA operative and a father. Oh, you doubt me? Fine. I now enter into evidence the The Five Things I Can Do Better than Jackie Chan.

The Avengers Aftermath Part I: God Of Thunder Set To Crush Christianity And Other Religions

It's no secret: The Avengers are here. You can see them flying around, punching things, yelling, and sweating in what almost seems like slow-motion. These facts are undeniable. However, we here at GPS have decided to take a closer look at what the emergence of these so-called superheroes means for both the Human race and planet Earth.

Our dogged determination to make sure our interns know how to research things has led us to believe there are two impacts The Avengers' appearances and subsequent actions have made: An environmental impact, and a spiritual and cultural impact. Part one will focus on the spiritual and cultural impact, and part two will examine the consequences of Stark Industries arc reactor technology.

GPS VS The Raid: Redemption

There have been rumblings in the halls of movie-geekdom lately about an Indonesian film guaranteed to pummel the privates of any action fan who would dare try and withstand its awesome might. We've heard it's the most important action film in decades, and some are calling it the "Indonesian Die Hard." Our fellow brother of the blogosphere Fogs reviewed it here and claims, "Holy Mary Mother of God!" That's a healthy heaping of hype to live up to, and quite frankly, we just don't believe it. The dynamic duo here at GPS collectively have almost sixty years of genre watching experience, and we feel there's nothing an action film can show us nowadays that we've not seen a million times before. Now we hate to brag, but allow us to show you our resumes so they can speak for themselves before we take on "The Raid: Redemption."

Sean Penn Finally Decides To Lighten Up

Though many younger movie patrons may not remember, there was a time when Sean Penn used to have fun in his movies before becoming the oh so serious thespian most know him as today. Happy days are here again for the Oscar winning actor who has recently stated in a press conference that he intends to lighten up. That's great news for fans who scantly remember his comedic turn as stoner-surfer dude Jeff Spicoli in 1982's "Fast Times At Ridgemont High." But that was almost thirty years ago. Most film-goers these days were pretty sure that they'd never see a lighthearted return to form after an extreme liberal pole became firmly lodged in his ass at some point during his career and turned him into angry Sean.

American Pie Franchise To End On Somber Note

Fans of the "American Pie" franchise are no doubt happy that the gang has returned for yet another installment of wacky shenanigans, but inquiring minds are already eager to know when they can expect another serving. "American Reunion" directors Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg have recently stated that there's going to be one more slice of pie to enjoy after this, but it will literally be the nail in the series coffin. "American Funeral" is in the works, and will showcase what happens after the gang all die from old age and tired cliche humor.

Hilary Swank To Portray Justin Bieber In New Biopic

It only took eighteen years plus a few pubic hairs, but the epic story of teeny-bopper singing sensation Justin Bieber is finally getting the grand Hollywood treatment. It has recently been revealed that two time Oscar winning actress Hilary Swank will portray Bieber in "Million Dollar Bieber." Swank is eager to try her luck again after her first biopic about pilot Amelia Earhart crashed and burned at the box office. Internet rumors have long suspected that Swank and Bieber are actually the same person so it's no surprise that the talented actress nabbed the much coveted role from the large pool of thespians vying for it.