GPSerious: Actual Twilight Cast vs. Twilight Cosplayers (Which Team Will Win?)

As I sat down to shit on the latest Twilight movie, something occurred to me. I asked myself, "Self, what's even worse than images like the one above?" To which my...self replied, "Self, someone who's not famous recreating stupid shit like the image above." And thus, this post took shape. I'm going to pit the real deal against their understudy doppelgangers and see who comes out victorious in a picture battle. What does victory mean in a bout such as this? It means regardless of who wins, neither camp can show their face in polite society again. It's a win for everyone, including me.

GPScarecrow

Cameron Says Titanic Will Feel Even Longer In 3-D And Boat Won't Sink This Time

After "Avatar" became the all time box office champ and vaulted the popularity of 3-D to new heights, James Cameron is now hoping the iceberg of good fortune will strike "Titanic" for a second time. During the past couple of years, Cameron and his team have been busy retooling the blockbuster for a 3-D theatrical run. But will being all prettied up in the third dimension be enough to entice audiences back to the multiplexes? GPS was lucky enough to spend some quality time with Cameron and learn more about the upcoming re-release.

GPStormtrooper

Happy Birthday Ennio Morricone

Happy 83 years of musical brilliance! This is his score from one of my all time favorite spaghetti westerns "Companeros" enjoy!

In Light of Oscars® Controversy, 3-way Deal Reached Between Brett Ratner, Eddie Murphy, and Academy Members

It's been an exciting news day here at GPS, what with all the Oscars® shenanigans taking place. Personally, I haven't been this amazed since U2 won Best Original Song during the 2003 Golden Globes®. So, basically, Academy President Tom Sherak has struck a deal with Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy. Neither of them will be part of the Oscar® telecast in any official capacity, but I think the solution is something everyone can live with.

GPSlapShot

GPSerious: I Wish I Was Bound with Jennifer Tilly.

Remember when the Wachowskis were still awesome? Well, before The Matrix made them officially awesome, they directed a little movie called Bound. It stars Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon, and Joe Pantoliano, and it's a sexy noir thriller about two lesbian lovers who decide to fuck the mob out of 2 million dollars.

Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull Inspires New Nation Sweeping Social Fad

For some strange reason, Steven Spielberg recently admitted that it was his idea in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" to nuke the fridge. "I'm proud of that," says the director. "I'm glad I was able to bring that into popular culture." He's done that and a whole lot more now. In the wake of Spielberg's bold brave confession about one of cinema's most hated scenes ever, fans are saluting him with a crazy new social fad that has been sweeping the nation. You may have heard of planking and owling, but now you can add NUKING to the list.

GPSing-a-long

After 34 Minutes In, Blogger Realizes There's Still 2 Hours To Go In Transformers 3

It took about thirty four minutes. That breaks down to two thousand forty seconds. Every now and then, I'm in the mood to watch Bay porn, but the Gods of incoherent robot smashing action did not favor him on this day. After what felt like an eternity, I checked the counter to see how much longer I had to endure the antics of Sam Witwicky and his comical sidekick auto-bots. I was in shock to learn there was still two hours to go. Two hours breaks down to one hundred twenty minutes. That breaks down to seven thousand two hundred seconds. After considering masturbating with a cheese grater which is slightly amusing but basically painful, I decided to let the film run and see how much more productive I could be with those two hours.

Breaking News: Shia LaBeouf Cast as John McClane Jr in A Good Day to Die Hard

As of 2:43pm MDT, it was reported that the role of John McClane Jr in the next Die Hard movie was down to four actors. However, in a totally unexpected turn of events, GPS has learned that it has been given to Shia LaBeouf, that kid who overturned his car and got stomped in the face while in a drunken stupor.

Movie Blog Finds No New Dark Knight News to Report, Posts Grocery List Instead

Since hearing that "The Dark Knight Rises" production has moved to New York to shoot a fight scene, GPS has been scouring the web for any new tidbits of information to satiate the spoiler loving fans who must know everything about the epic production. We got nothing......zip......nada. It's been a slow start to the news week in the blogosphere what can we say? Truly disappointing I know, but Phobos and I were still able to write up a little something to pass the time. We realize that movie blogging often contains lists of various sorts, so here is our list of the the Top 7 Things We Need from the Grocery Store This Week.

GPSpartan

Terrence Malick's Untitled Romantic Drama Starring Ben Affleck is Really About Orbiting Planets and Shit.

If you thought Terrence Malick was correct when he fell asleep at his own screening for Tree of Life, man...wait 'til you get a load of his Untitled Romantic Drama "starring" Ben Affleck and Rachel McAdams. I use quotes there because, as it turns out, only 40 minutes of the film's purported 183-minute runtime will be focused on actual people. The rest will make use of longing stares at revolving planets and nucleotides as they form the beginnings of intelligent life. The twist comes at the end, when everything in the known universe is dumped out of a colossal anus.

GPScorsese 2

Occupy Protesters Set Up Camp At Skywalker Ranch

The Occupy protest movement that has been making headlines all over the country has now shown up at the doorstep of Skywalker Ranch, and the political "force" is with them. George Lucas is none too happy to be dealing with the makeshift tent city he now finds on his lawn, and the bearded one is baffled as to why these rebels have targeted him where he lives. When word broke, we at GPS immediately packed our camping gear and headed to the ranch in Marin County California to be there as the story unfolded.

On Heels of Anonymous, Steven Spielberg Speaks: "Roland Emmerich Did Not Direct Stargate."

Only a few days after Roland Emmerich's latest film, Anonymous, opened in theaters, another well-known Hollywood director came out of the shadows and dropped a bombshell on us all. Steven Spielberg sat down with GPS and set the record straight on what was thought to be Emmerich's best film, Stargate. "Roland Emmerich did not direct Stargate," Spielberg told us. "I did."

GPSweeney

Mark Ruffalo To Portray Ang Lee's Version Of Hulk In The Avengers

 Anticipation is high for Joss Whedon's super hero mash up "The Avengers," but Incredible Hulk fans were only given a brief tease of the jolly green giant at the end of the trailer. Two unique versions of the gamma powered goliath have appeared onscreen, and geeks are getting curious about which version Mark Ruffalo will be playing. Will it be Ang Lee's much vilified take or the rebooted version starring Ed Norton? Ruffalo spent a little quality time with GPS recently and gave us the answers inquiring minds want to know!