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GPSerious: I Wish I Was Bound with Jennifer Tilly.

Remember when the Wachowskis were still awesome? Well, before The Matrix made them officially awesome, they directed a little movie called Bound. It stars Jennifer Tilly, Gina Gershon, and Joe Pantoliano, and it's a sexy noir thriller about two lesbian lovers who decide to fuck the mob out of 2 million dollars.

Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull Inspires New Nation Sweeping Social Fad

For some strange reason, Steven Spielberg recently admitted that it was his idea in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" to nuke the fridge. "I'm proud of that," says the director. "I'm glad I was able to bring that into popular culture." He's done that and a whole lot more now. In the wake of Spielberg's bold brave confession about one of cinema's most hated scenes ever, fans are saluting him with a crazy new social fad that has been sweeping the nation. You may have heard of planking and owling, but now you can add NUKING to the list.

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After 34 Minutes In, Blogger Realizes There's Still 2 Hours To Go In Transformers 3

It took about thirty four minutes. That breaks down to two thousand forty seconds. Every now and then, I'm in the mood to watch Bay porn, but the Gods of incoherent robot smashing action did not favor him on this day. After what felt like an eternity, I checked the counter to see how much longer I had to endure the antics of Sam Witwicky and his comical sidekick auto-bots. I was in shock to learn there was still two hours to go. Two hours breaks down to one hundred twenty minutes. That breaks down to seven thousand two hundred seconds. After considering masturbating with a cheese grater which is slightly amusing but basically painful, I decided to let the film run and see how much more productive I could be with those two hours.

Breaking News: Shia LaBeouf Cast as John McClane Jr in A Good Day to Die Hard

As of 2:43pm MDT, it was reported that the role of John McClane Jr in the next Die Hard movie was down to four actors. However, in a totally unexpected turn of events, GPS has learned that it has been given to Shia LaBeouf, that kid who overturned his car and got stomped in the face while in a drunken stupor.

Movie Blog Finds No New Dark Knight News to Report, Posts Grocery List Instead

Since hearing that "The Dark Knight Rises" production has moved to New York to shoot a fight scene, GPS has been scouring the web for any new tidbits of information to satiate the spoiler loving fans who must know everything about the epic production. We got nothing......zip......nada. It's been a slow start to the news week in the blogosphere what can we say? Truly disappointing I know, but Phobos and I were still able to write up a little something to pass the time. We realize that movie blogging often contains lists of various sorts, so here is our list of the the Top 7 Things We Need from the Grocery Store This Week.

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Terrence Malick's Untitled Romantic Drama Starring Ben Affleck is Really About Orbiting Planets and Shit.

If you thought Terrence Malick was correct when he fell asleep at his own screening for Tree of Life, man...wait 'til you get a load of his Untitled Romantic Drama "starring" Ben Affleck and Rachel McAdams. I use quotes there because, as it turns out, only 40 minutes of the film's purported 183-minute runtime will be focused on actual people. The rest will make use of longing stares at revolving planets and nucleotides as they form the beginnings of intelligent life. The twist comes at the end, when everything in the known universe is dumped out of a colossal anus.

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