Terrence Malick's Untitled Romantic Drama Starring Ben Affleck is Really About Orbiting Planets and Shit.

If you thought Terrence Malick was correct when he fell asleep at his own screening for Tree of Life, man...wait 'til you get a load of his Untitled Romantic Drama "starring" Ben Affleck and Rachel McAdams. I use quotes there because, as it turns out, only 40 minutes of the film's purported 183-minute runtime will be focused on actual people. The rest will make use of longing stares at revolving planets and nucleotides as they form the beginnings of intelligent life. The twist comes at the end, when everything in the known universe is dumped out of a colossal anus.

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Occupy Protesters Set Up Camp At Skywalker Ranch

The Occupy protest movement that has been making headlines all over the country has now shown up at the doorstep of Skywalker Ranch, and the political "force" is with them. George Lucas is none too happy to be dealing with the makeshift tent city he now finds on his lawn, and the bearded one is baffled as to why these rebels have targeted him where he lives. When word broke, we at GPS immediately packed our camping gear and headed to the ranch in Marin County California to be there as the story unfolded.

On Heels of Anonymous, Steven Spielberg Speaks: "Roland Emmerich Did Not Direct Stargate."

Only a few days after Roland Emmerich's latest film, Anonymous, opened in theaters, another well-known Hollywood director came out of the shadows and dropped a bombshell on us all. Steven Spielberg sat down with GPS and set the record straight on what was thought to be Emmerich's best film, Stargate. "Roland Emmerich did not direct Stargate," Spielberg told us. "I did."

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Mark Ruffalo To Portray Ang Lee's Version Of Hulk In The Avengers

 Anticipation is high for Joss Whedon's super hero mash up "The Avengers," but Incredible Hulk fans were only given a brief tease of the jolly green giant at the end of the trailer. Two unique versions of the gamma powered goliath have appeared onscreen, and geeks are getting curious about which version Mark Ruffalo will be playing. Will it be Ang Lee's much vilified take or the rebooted version starring Ed Norton? Ruffalo spent a little quality time with GPS recently and gave us the answers inquiring minds want to know!

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Jessica Simpson Addresses Toilet Tweet And Bloated Belly

In today's world of the celebrity obsessed, is it even possible to be given too much information? That's exactly what Jessica Simpson has been accused of as media hounds everywhere are blasting her this week for tweeting while on the toilet. The 30 year old singer posted a twitter pic and told her four million plus followers that she was having, "short girl problems" while sitting sans shoes on a swanky department store commode. The Simpson camp is flustered enough by constant pregnancy queries from the media circus regarding their starlets ever growing belly, and the turd-a-licious tweet just adds to an ever growing shit-storm of bad publicity. Now the question we at GPS have isn't why she toilet tweeted, but rather who the hell took the infamous photo anyways? It's up to our crackerjack staff of interns to dip into their well of bribes and sexual favors to uncover even more unnecessary intel.

GPSerious: They Came Back (2004)

For those of you who appreciate and laugh at my humorous articles, I do thank you. I can usually find something to laugh at with any movie, no matter how serious it takes itself. They Came Back is an exception to that rule. I find nothing remotely funny about the premise or execution of this movie, and what I'm about to write will reflect that. If you'd rather see me shit on a bad horror movie, go read this. On the other hand, if you'd like to read about why They Came Back scares me more than any film by Romero, Kubrick, or Craven ever could, then this is probably the review for you.

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