GPSerious: My own collection.

Steps 11 & 12:

I pray, Morgan Freeman, that you continue to guide me and remind me to put away the stacks of like 30 movies I currently have sitting on my kitchen counter. Sorry about that. I also want everyone reading this to know that Morgan Freeman really does care about you and the horrible ways you put a movie down and forget to put it away later.

GPSerious: Are You A Movie Hoarder? GPS Is Here To Help!

I'm not quite as obsessed as I used to be, but after collecting DVDs and now Blu-rays for the past twelve years, I've amassed quite a huge stockpile of cine-wonderful entertainment. There's an unfortunate downside to being a rabid collector. On any given night, simply trying to find my copy of "The Lost Boys" was like venturing into the warehouse at the end of "Raiders." A daunting task that usually ends up with me cussing and suffering from "Two Corey" withdrawal symptoms. Oh the insanity!

Breaking News: John Carpenter is Still Alive.

I was minding my own business this morning when someone bumped into me in the street. He almost spilled my frappuccino vanilla bullshit, so I was about to punch him in his stupid face. Then I saw who's face it actually was. As it turns out, it was John Carpenter, who is still alive.

Test Screening For Live Action "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" Goes Horribly Wrong

It was all trick and no treat that's angered parents about the live action version of "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" during a recent test screening. The beloved kids classic has been changed into a horror story for contemporary audiences, but the filmmakers never tipped their hand about the tonal shift. The story of Peanut gang members Linus and Sally awaiting the arrival of the Great Pumpkin on Halloween eve remains the same, but in this version, the titular spirit will be dealing out death instead of candy. The family demographic was targeted as several hundred invitations were mailed out, but the parents and children who showed up were completely terrified about what they saw unfolding on the silver screen after the lights dimmed in the theater.

GPSerious: Birthdays - October 18th

Oh, man. I don't know who to feature this time, since three awesome people have birthdays today. Screw it, they're all getting the nod.

Most worthy for October 18th:

Jean-Claude Van Damme (51)

George C. Scott (would be 84)

Klaus Kinski (would be 85)

GPSerious: The Sexual Innuendo of Forbidden World.

I'm a fan of innuendo. Countless films use it to spice up the chemistry between leads, and when done well, it can excite you and make you want to see how a relationship pans out. And then there's Forbidden World, which was supposed to be some kind of Alien rip-off. It also uses innuendo, but it sounds more like dialogue from Forbidden World, Where People Fuck in Space. That movie has yet to be made, but I'm not beneath doing things for a paycheck. Hollywood agents, I hope you're reading.

James Wan "Really, Really Sorry" About All Those Saws.

Director James Wan may have been able to make a pretty great career for himself after helming the original Saw, but in an exclusive GPS interview, he comes to terms with the fact that he's responsible for overseeing six more iterations of the horror franchise. "I'm really, really sorry, you guys. I didn't plan ahead this far; I thought it would be a one-off deal," the horror maestro said when confronted with his own printed-out IMDB producer credits. Wan also added, "Look, if I'm going down for this, I'm not going alone. Go ask Eli Roth why he had to make Hostel, like, less than a year after I did Saw. I mean, c'mon. Talk about riding coat tails. Oh, and by the way, just because you have Edwige Fenech in your movie for ten seconds, it doesn't mean you just made a giallo. Sorry."

Paranormal Activity Re-releasing on Blu-ray with Literally Hours of Added Footage.

In Paranormal Activity, Micah Sloat couldn't stop filming everything in front of his douchebag face. As you might have guessed, there was a lot more footage than what was released in theaters, but the blu-ray and DVD have already been available for some time. Apparently, Paramount feels now is the right time to unload the newest blu-ray version of the film, entitled "Paranormal Activity: The Full Cut," onto somewhat-suspecting horror audiences across the country. New additions include a ten-minute-long scene where Micah brushes his teeth while flexing and the exciting drive home in rush-hour traffic after purchasing his new camera.

One Sentence Review -The Thing (2011)

All the CG in the world couldn't feed me a scare...and nothing beats the showdown between MacCready and Blair.

Zombie Filmmakers Brace For Witty Title Shortage

The positive reviews have been pouring in for the indy zombie flick "Juan of the Dead," and would be filmmakers are now scrambling to milk any remaining titles that pay homage to George Romero's classic "Dawn of the Dead" from the undead teat. "There's still some goodies floating around out there," one insider informed us. "The well of zombie title wit hasn't completely dried up yet!" We at GPS initially struggled to come up with our own clever Romero tribute titles, but found that there are indeed a few more lurking at the bottom of the brain barrel.

Currently Obsessed With: The Mimic Series

The original Mimic was Guillermo del Toro's first English-language movie. God bless that man. It's one of the best creature features around, and it's held up remarkably well in the fourteen years since it came out. The director's cut is out on Blu-ray, but I haven't picked it up yet. Don't worry, I plan to. I've been thinking about this series for the past three days or so, and I still can't get it out of my head. I just finished watching Mimic 2, and while it's the least in the series, there are definitely some things worth discussing. I already reviewed the third movie, so I'll only gloss over that one here. You know what? I seriously would not mind a fourth Mimic movie. Does that sound crazy to you? It might be, but if it was given to another unconventional director with an eye for suspense, it could be pretty sweet. As the series stands, it's a good bunch of horror movies, and each one has something different to offer the brave souls who crave giant cockroach action in their movie-watching diet.

Phoenix Jones Kicked Off Set of The Avengers for Assaulting Robert Downey Jr.

We reported on Tuesday that Seattle's best-known crime fighter, Phoenix Jones, was set to appear in Joss Whedon's The Avengers. Earlier this morning, however, Jones was seen being escorted from the Disney studio lot after getting into an altercation with Robert Downey Jr. He and Chris Hemsworth were in the middle of filming a fight scene when, out of nowhere, Jones came sprinting into frame, wildly shooting pepper spray all over the place.

3rd Time's a Charm - Mimic 3 Sentinel (2003)

When you think of the third entry in any horror series, what do you think of? A lot of the time, if a franchise makes it to that point, it's done so by dumbing-down the story and/or simply adding buckets of gore. Not so with Mimic 3 Sentinel. Directed by J.T. Petty, the movie is - get ready for this - Rear Window with giant cockroaches. Does that raise an eyebrow? It should.

Currently Obsessed With: Hannibal (2001)

How do you top a film that has taken its place in movie history as one of the all time greats and made it ok to love a cannibalistic serial killer at the same time? You don't. But what you can do is get a kick-ass director, take the story in a new direction, and throw Gary Oldman into the mix for shits and giggles. There's no way the follow up to "Silence of the Lambs" wouldn't crumble a little under the weight of tremendous expectations and disappoint a lot of people in the fan base. "Hannibal" was a box office success, but the critical reactions to it were extremely mixed with most viewers being turned off by the truly bizarre twists and turns the narrative takes. But not me. I love it when story tellers dare to be different. I love it that the good guys don't always win. But most of all, I love it when two great tastes like Ridley Scott and Anthony Hopkins can come together and make something oh so cinematically delicious like Hannibal. What makes this one of my favorite sequel soups ever made? Lets list the ingredients.

Charles S. Dutton Signs On to Die in Another Horror Movie.

I don't know who to blame here, but Charles S. Dutton, the guy who died in Alien 3, Mimic, and Legion has set himself up to get horrendously murdered by a giant monster yet again. Dutton was unavailable for comment, but a spokesman for the actor was able to clarify a few things for us. "Firstly," said Dom Derple, Dutton's agent,"I can't divulge the name of the film or who Mr. Dutton will be playing. All I can tell you is that he'll let your guard down with his honest portrayal of a flawed, yet lovable man you just know is going to get his guts ripped out by hideous claws and teeth."

Avengers Trailer Premieres, Angry Mom Still Trying To Remove Stains From Geeky Son's Shat Pants

The trailer for Joss Whedon's hotly anticipated super hero epic "The Avengers" has finally appeared for comic book fans to gobble up online, but some folks weren't so happy about the geek-tastic spectacle. Susan Curdlethorp's teenage son Ben downloaded the trailer, shat his pants in delight, and threw his dirty tighty whiteys into the laundry hamper for her to clean later. Mrs. Curdlethorp is constantly having to stockpile underwear for her son anytime the geek world trembles with excitement, but is starting to grow weary of the arduous cleaning process involved in the aftermath. GPS has more on the Curdlethorps, and we've got the infamous pants-shitting trailer after the break!

Phoenix Jones to Appear in The Avengers; Gratuitous Pepper Spraying to Ensue.

As dawn approaches, so does the official trailer for Joss Whedon's upcoming superhero extravaganza, The Avengers. The public might think they know what to expect from the movie, but GPS was able to uncover a little tidbit that the mainstream press has yet to pick up on. Phoenix Jones, America's favorite superhero-crime-fighter-guy, will be making some sort of appearance in The Avengers. The extent of his role has yet to be determined, but for those of you clamoring for more info, we have just that after the jump.

Teen Murdered On Elm Street, Parents Blame *Elm* Tree Of Life

***EDIT*** This post is now new and improved thanks to our friend Dylan@ manilovefilms.com . I sincerely apologize for my witty ineptitude. There clearly should have been an obvious "Elm Tree" joke associated in a post about "A Nightmare on Elm Street" and "Tree of Life" Thank you Dylan.

A teenage girl was found brutally slashed to death in the Elm Street community, and police can find neither a suspect nor motive for the brutal crime. "At this time we are baffled by this vicious act of violence, but we continue to make progress as the story unfolds," investigators said. An insider has leaked word that homicide detectives are looking to steer suspicion towards the parents, but Ted and Beulah Crappleberry are steadfastly maintaining their innocence in regards to the murder of their daughter Cindy. GPS was able to speak with the Crappleberrys and gain some insight on what went on the night of Cindy's slaughter.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Apologizes to Maria Shriver with Giant Bronze Statue of Himself.

*UPDATED*

On Saturday morning, in what some would call a misguided attempt at a romantic gesture, Arnold Schwarzenegger unveiled a gigantic bronze statue of himself right on the lawn of his soon-to-be-ex-wife, Maria Shriver. It was a media circus as the former Governor of California stood there, obviously pleased with his own ingenuity while caressing his bronze counterpart's ass.

Birthdays - October 8th

I'm trying something a little different this time. Instead of picking just one birthday and making a post about that person, I'll list the people I think are notable and showcase the one I feel is most worthy. Let me know if you guys prefer it this way or the way we've been doing it up 'til now. I also realize this has been a very sporadic thing so far, and it probably will be until someone else wants to do this every single day. So for now, I'll just do it when I feel like it. Like today. Hooray for birthdays!

Most worthy for October 8th:

Paul Hogan (72)