Visit From 3 Spirits Prompts Lucas To Release Star Wars Theatrical Cuts On Blu-Ray

It will be a very Merry Christmas indeed for Star Wars geeks this holiday season. A recent press release from Skywalker Ranch has confirmed that George Lucas has finally decided to release the beloved theatrical cuts of the original trilogy on Blu-Ray. The sudden change of heart was certainly unexpected after the totally altered and unpopular versions just hit retailers everywhere. So what exactly changed the evil emperor's mind? There has been rumors about internal strife at Lucasfilm headquarters, but only GPS has been able to pull off the greatest Jedi-mind-trick yet by getting George to spill the beans on the matter! "The ghost of Sir Alec Guinness came to see me in my bedroom one night," a terrified Lucas stated. "He told me I was going to be visited by three spirits that would change my whole outlook on the shit-storm I've created..........man I tell ya......he seemed really fucking pissed off at me!" It sounded like Lucas had been putting a little too much vodka in his blue milk, but we let him tell us his story.

Magneto Killed By 16 Year Old Girl During Woodland Vacation

The mutant community has been rocked by news that its most powerful member was killed while on winter holiday. Erik Lensherr, AKA Magneto, was taking a sabbatical from his leadership duties in the Brotherhood of Mutants and sought solace from modern society at a cabin in an undisclosed woodland location. The master of magnetism was apparently prone to migraines, and he would often retreat to his favorite vacation spot to find peace from the metallic interference brought on by city life. When he didn't resume his world conquering duties after his expected return, the Brotherhood launched an investigation. The B.O.M. coordinated their search with the police as well as former friend and nemesis Charles Xavier. Magneto's body was quickly discovered through rigorous investigative tactics bolstered by Xavier's super computer Cerebro. Erik was pierced through the head by a wooden arrow with a polished bone tip and had no chance of using his powers to deflect it. The authorities have apprehended a sixteen year old blond female believed to be responsible for the crime after following her tracks through the snowy woods.

Sylvester Stallone To Direct Black Swan 2

In a day and age where it's almost impossible to keep details about a movie production from leaking out, GPS was surprised to hear the news that Fox Searchlight Pictures have secretly been working on a sequel to the smash hit "Black Swan." Made for a paltry thirteen million dollars and grossing much much more, the studio heads are eager to make sure their dancing swan keeps laying golden eggs for their bank accounts. Natalie Portman has agreed to reprise her Oscar winning role as the troubled ballet dancer Nina, and a back in shape John Travolta will co-star. Since Darren Aronofsky turned down the chance to helm the next chapter, the powers that be have hired Sylvester Stallone for the job. Sly is no stranger to sequels about dancers, and promises that the saga of the bad girl ballet will positively knock out any doubters. Once again, GPS was given unprecedented access to all the yummy details about the Italian Stallion's production.

Fright Night 2011: One Sentence Review

 I didn't care too much for McLovin's Evil Ed, but Colin was badass as the blood-sucking undead!

Conan Treated By Wizard For Erectile Dysfunction

Erectile dysfunction affects 18% of U.S. men on a yearly basis. Add one Cimmerian barbarian to the list now. Conan, destined to wear the jeweled crown of Aquilonia upon a flaccid penis. In Conan's world of phallic imagery, bloody battles, and scantily clad ladies, a man truly lives and dies by his sword.......both of them. After one drunken evening found him desperately trying to hear the lamentations of the women without success, the savage warrior knew that it would only be a matter of time before word got out and Crom would cast him out of Valhalla for his sexual ineptitude. "How can I solve the riddle of steel when the riddle of wood is so terribly vexing?" the barbarian pondered.  Thus began an epic quest to seek out a wizard who could treat his emasculating condition.

On Location: Star Trek First Contact

I had so much fun with visiting the "Dirty Harry" film locations in San Francisco that I couldn't resist posting about other places I've been known for famous movie shoots. A couple of years ago, my employers sent me to Tucson Arizona where I got to visit the Titan II missile silo. The decommissioned military installation was used to convert an old Titan II 9 megaton missile replica into the spaceship Zefram Cochrane used for his first warp drive test in "Star Trek: First Contact." When I initially planned my visit to the museum I had no idea, but was giddy as a schoolgirl when I learned about the Star Trek connection. I'm not really a Trekkie......but I am a total movie dork. Enjoy.

The missile tricked out for Trek

My shot of the missile as it is now

You can see my "Dirty Harry" location visits right here http://bit.ly/nf1Xjq  

MEET: Billy Jack.

Billy Jack is a half breed Cherokee Indian and former Green Beret. Billy Jack is a master of Hapkido. Billy Jack is pretty much pissed off all the time, but finds solace hanging with the bleeding heart liberal hippie kids at the Freedom School run by his homely girlfriend Jean. Billy Jack tries to control his temper...............but sometimes.......just sometimes..........the bigoted rednecks just make him go BERSERK! That's when Billy Jack puts on a display of ass kickery that predates the martial arts mastery Bruce Lee would make famous a few years later in American films. Pull off your boots and bare witness to the Jack attack! Meet Billy Jack!

Good ole American ass kickin in the name of hippie freedom!

Caesar And Billy Crystal To Host 84th Annual Academy Awards

84th Oscar Host Caesar

After the Eddie Murphy and Brett Ratner Oscar debacle, The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has found its newest master of ceremonies for the 84th annual award show. A public relations rep for the academy made the announcement at a bustling press conference and GPS was there to get all the juicy details for next years big red carpet event. "The academy is proud to present Caesar as our host for the 2012 Oscars," the PR agent declared to a stunned audience. "We're also dusting the cobwebs off Billy Crystal to co-host and mentor Caesar for Hollywood's biggest night of the year!" The revelation of the latest host is fortuitous timing for Caesar as his first major motion picture "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" is currently hitting theaters nationwide.

Currently Obsessed With: Source Code

Eight minutes till the commuter train explodes. Eight minutes to discover the terrorists responsible and prevent further tragedy. Eight minutes to call your father one more time and reconcile. Eight minutes to fall in love. Eight minutes to come to grips with your situation and accept your fate. For army helicopter pilot Colter Stevens, those eight minutes must be spent well enough to last a lifetime or he'll have to repeat those eight minutes again........and again till he gets it right. Welcome to Duncan Jone's "Source Code." In an attempt to maintain the spirit of the film, I shall try to explain my fascination with this piece in eight sentences or less. Jones has crafted a nifty little time travel film......wait.....that's nine sentences already........damn......back to the source code.

Spartacus: Vengeance trailer.....oh yes.....there will be blood!

WOW...January come quick!

When Product Placement Attacks!

I'm actually pretty amused by this example

I know it's a necessary evil. I realize that corporate sponsorship helps foot some of the bills on a film production budget. I understand that many people actually use the products advertised on a daily basis, but I also hate it when product placement in movies is blatantly obvious. I should be able to just let it go..............laugh it off...........learn to accept it. But I can't always do that. There are instances where it works tremendously, but far too often, I just get distracted by shameless product plugs. Here's a few examples that really annoy me followed by one that I accept and love wholeheartedly. Stay tuned and I'll be back after these important messages!

Spielberg Reveals Cowboys & Aliens Sequels

Hot off his first ever appearance at San Diego Comic-Con, Steven Spielberg has been spilling the goods about his latest and greatest creations that will be gracing movie screens near you. GPS was granted an exclusive audience with the academy award winner and was simply stunned when he revealed not one.......not two.....but three sequels currently shooting simultaneously for the upcoming "Cowboys & Aliens" franchise. Jon Favreau is back on board directing the next exciting chapters in the sci-fi saga about other worldly invaders, and he happily joined his mentor during our presentation.

R.I.P. Amy & Forever 27 on Film

I admit to never really knowing her music well other than her famous "Rehab" song, but I appreciated the true talent that belonged to Amy Winehouse. She sadly couldn't get her demons in check and joins the "Forever 27" club alongside other music legends who left us all too soon. Hollywood has often tried to pay tribute to.....or cash in..... on the stars who burned brightly but shortly in the entertainment world with varying degrees of success.  Here are three notable attempts to give us a glimpse of life and death in the "Forever 27" club.

Warner Bros, New Line, Capital One Bank Seal Hobbit Marketing Deal.

Hot on the heels of the cast reveal and subsequent photo shoot in a giant gray room, Warner Bros. and New Line have excitedly announced a brand-new marketing campaign that will be launched alongside The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey when it releases next year. The cast and crew will partner with Capital One Bank to produce a series of television commercials within the next 6 months. 3-D was being discussed, but as of the time of this writing, nothing was decided for sure. I, for one, can't wait to hear Frodo ask, "What's in YOUR wallet?"

Captain America Punches Hitler In Epic Comic-Con Cosplay Throwdown!

It was pandemonium at the San diego Comic-Con as two cosplay titans duked it out for geek supremacy. Phil Cornbottom AKA Captain America took offense when a fellow cosplayer showed up at the popular convention dressed as Hitler. The security team at the convention center immediately stepped in to halt the melee and escort them off the grounds, but were so moved by Captain America's patriotic stand against the Third Reich, they decided to let the combatants settle it mano-a-mano.

@DRUNKHULK ENTER CELEBRITY REHAB WITH DR. DREW

"Celebrity Rehab" begins for @DRUNKHULK

@DRUNKHULK knew it was only a matter of time before his drunken posting on Twitter would get old. The gamma powered giant has recently been renowned for his intoxicated tweets, but has been feeling of late that he's hit rock bottom and in desperate need of a change. @DRUNKHULK has reached out to addiction medicine specialist Dr. Drew Pinsky and will be attempting to SMASH alcoholism on the new season of "Celebrity Rehab."

Best Dialogue Ever: Conan The Barbarian 1982

As far as Conan goes, there can be only one for me........Ahnold. Sure I'll check out the newest incarnation and hope that it reaches the awe inspiring heights of the 1982 John Milius classic, but nobody.........and I mean nobody will ever "burn you the way to paradise" the way Mr. Universe did. Now getting that out of the way I can present to you the newest series of posts on GPS "Best Dialogue Ever." I have to start with Conan.....it's the reason we're named Green People Soup. (fans of the film think about that if you want to know) Arnold didn't say much in the movie, but when he did, you had to be prepared to pay attention lest ye be eviscerated by his cold steel. Here he talks about what is best in life........listen closely or Crom will cast you out of Valhalla.

HULK Declines To Answer Questions Under Oath About Steroid Use

HULK has day in court

Preliminary hearings have begun in the super hero steroid abuse scandal that has been rocking the nation as of late, and the Incredible Hulk has refused to answer questions under oath. He was dressed sharply for his day in court, but refused to say anything that would incriminate fellow Avenger Club member Captain America.

Banjo Prodigy Discovered on "Georgia's Got Talent" Youtube Clip Watched By Millions

For Simon Cowell's new show "Georgia's Got Talent," it was 2009 all over again. When a local Cahulawassee River contestant stepped on the stage and started strumming his banjo, the former "American Idol" judge and his panel were absolutely stunned by the musical genius on display. The video clip of the performance was subsequently posted on Youtube and has garnered almost four million hits as of this writing. The kid from Georgia known only as Banjo Boy has gone viral, and the entire globe is simply delighted as they anticipate what he'll do for an encore in the next round of the contest.

The Red Skull: "The Captain Is Clearly On Steroids"

When asked about the steroid scandal that's currently a been a thorn in Captain America's side, the Red Skull was not at a loss for words about the star spangled avenger. "Der Junge ist offensichtlich auf Steroiden. Ich sah Steve Rogers, bevor er in die Armee eintrat und er war ein winzig kleines person. Am 22. Juli werde ich Captain America mit meiner ganz natürlichen Körper zu vernichten." GPS originally broke the news about the scandal and tell all book right here http://bit.ly/n5EZza