Happy Birthday Gary Busey!

Happy birthday to Oscar nominated actor Gary Busey who is 67 years young today! All creatures shall make merry under penalty of death as we celebrate this oh so holy of days! Here's a little tribute to Gary guaranteed to brighten up your day!

Michael Bay to be dragged to Hell by Lamia in 3 days

People often say good things come in threes. "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is number three in the franchise. Top of the line 3-D filming equipment was used during production...... and after the third day of the upcoming holiday weekend, director Michael Bay will be dragged to Hell by the Lamia for unleashing it onto the viewing public. Going back to work after celebrating the 4th of July just got a little easier, but what chain of events has led to the sudden rejoicing of summer blockbuster fans everywhere?

Peter Falk (1927-2011)

All over the web, the news of Peter Falk's death has come in one flavor: something to the effect of, "Peter Falk, TV's Columbo, dead." Falk was amazing as Frank Columbo, but I'd like to show you a different character of his. In 2001, Falk played a mob boss in Jon Favreau's comedy classic, Made. He wasn't in the movie a hell of a lot, but he stole every scene he was in. He gave that sort of performance that made me believe he was that character. Even in his short amount of screen time, I really thought he could have me whacked if he wanted to; all he had to do was pick up the phone. I don't think one scene does justice to a lifetime of acting, but I do think this is a fitting tribute. I have to be careful to keep on topic here, because Vince Vaughn is something else in this film. It's his best role, by far, and I would say it's the epitome of his personality. I might write something up on the film at some point, but I digress. Enjoy a fucking awesome Peter Falk performance.

Django Unchained 101: Let's talk about the title

There are two things in my film life that I consider myself to be somewhat knowledgeable of. One is the spaghetti west and the other is Quentin Tarantino's body of work. I'm kind of a biased fanboy when it comes to the former video store geek and while I don't get all the references he has peppered into his flicks, I can usually get some of it. See....you have to be careful when viewing the hyper ones work all right.....he'll try to trick and mislead you all right. Let's take "Inglorious Basterds" for example. That movie wasn't about a group of ragtag soldiers on a suicide mission to kill Hitler. That was merely a clever disguise designed to show you his love of European cinema and present you a foreign film made by an American. Now let's get to the bottom of "Django Unchained" all right.

Currently Obsessed with: Alfred Hitchcock's "Frenzy"

I recently decided that I would no longer review movies on this blog. There are a thousand and one better places to go for scintillating critique than here. It doesn't mean that I won't write about stuff that's on my mind though. Cinema that I love.........cinema that sticks to my brain.........cinema that makes me obsessed. Like when they have a James Bond marathon on TV and I feel compelled to watch every stinking one of them  driving my wife insane in the process. She knows now that I just need to ride it out.....get it out of my system for a while......till the next itch needs scratching.

Breakfast Club remake to actually showcase teen diversity this time

The 1985 Brat Pack classic usually conjures up fond memories for those who have seen it, but the powers that be at Universal studios don't seem to share the admiration anymore. A remake for "The Breakfast Club" has been greenlit, and movie execs are chomping at the bit to update the tale of social diversity amongst teens. True fans cry blasphemy, but the filmmakers are promising that this won't just be a quick cash grab for a creatively bankrupt Hollywood. So what will be different this time?

Meet Machine Gun Joe Viterbo.

Does anyone remember that Death Race movie from a couple of years ago? Me, either. It was probably shit. Here's something much, much better: Machine Gun Joe Viterbo. He was in the original Death Race 2000, and he was played - with much enthusiasm - by Sylvester Stallone. Pre-Rocky Stallone, mind you. So, uh, ya know, if you want to see some, you's know, vintage awesome, look no further, as I give to you Machine. Gun. Joe. Viterbo. As a side note, watch for the amazing ass on his navigator.

If you want to see Rocky get his ass kicked by David Carradine in a leather gimp outfit, then you should probably watch to the end. Otherwise, you can go to hell.

Green Lantern: One Sentence Review

For those who might worship Green Lantern's light, beware this film because it's shite.

Five Reasons Why Total Recall is Awesome.

Before Arnold Schwarzenegger was proven to be an asshole larger than his governing state, he was busy making sweet love to audiences in the form of all kinds of awesome ass-kicking. First on that list, as far as I'm concerned, is Total Recall. When was the last time you watched that movie? If it's been more than a few years, I'd say it's time to dust it off and re-live Arnold's glory days.

Crystal Lake Closure On 4th Of July Upsets Unlikable Teens

A recent string of fatal incidents at Crystal Lake has proven to be too much for the woefully understaffed police department to handle. The authorities suspect foul play and consequently, the popular vacation spot has been forced to close its shores for the upcoming 4th of July weekend. This is troubling news for a group of unlikable teenagers who will now be forced to change their vacation plans at the last minute.