I want a Swamp Thing remake dammit!

The re-boot....it's a popular trend in Hollywood these days. The Batman franchise got one....Superman got one...hell...even the Hulk got a new kick start only a few years removed from his first big screen outing. So why no love for my beloved Swamp Thing? Second tier heroes like Iron Man are also getting the hundred million dollar movie treatment. If Iron Man came to the bayou to fight Swamp Thing....he'd just get stuck in the mud and his balls would rust. Wolverine has a new flick soon to be slashing up movie tickets near you....and if that adamantium plated meathead tried to cut off Swamp's arm...he could just re attach it...or instantly grow a new one. He's pretty much the coolest super hero ever.....period.

For those not in the know......the Swamp Thing comic was created in 1972 by Len Wein.....and has continued off and on for several decades. At one point, writer Alan Moore (of Watchmen fame) took the reins for a spell and wrote some of my very favorite storylines for the character. The book follows Alec Holland..brilliant scientist who is transformed by his own experiments into the Swamp Thing. The series has him fighting evil and seeking to regain his human form. He doesn't have any type of special body armor. Nor does he speed around town on a nifty tricked out motorcycle. Hell...he doesn't even have a costume. He's just a big pile of living, muddy, mossy, shit. The Swamp Thing has super human strength coupled with the ability to communicate and control the world's vegetation, but the neatest thing going for him is that there are these swamp potatoes growing on his body that you can eat......and get really high. Totally organic swampy psychedelic bliss baby.

pass the potatoes please.....

Can you just imagine a new movie version of Swamp Thing made with today's special effects? He could be fighting a desperate battle against whatever evil nemesis the screenwriters throw at him...then all of the sudden it seems like he's going to lose.......he quickly shoves a power potato down the bad guy's throat and all is right in the world. No other super hero in comics or film has this ace up their sleeves! I usually favor practical FX over CG these days....but seeing a swamp trip done proper on film would justify the use of a computer.

in-a-gadda-da-vida-honey!

For now, all us fans of the mean green plant machine have is a low budget effort from 1981. I think they had their hearts in the right places getting Wes Craven to direct. This was pre Elm Street, but he was fresh off the success of Last House on the Left and Hills Have Eyes so it was the right choice when considering the dark nature of the comic books. Fans of Adrienne Barbeau can rejoice. She takes center stage as a feisty action heroine sporting excellent cleavage and an 80's curly afro. Actor Louis Jourdan (he was the Bond villain in Octopussy) holds his own as the immortality seeking Dr. Arcane. Sadly, the titular character played by stuntman Dick Durrock leaves something to be desired. It's not that he does such a bad acting job....you can just tell that he's wearing a silly rubber outfit that wrinkles every time he moves. Not a good idea for such an action heavy film. At one point during a chaotic scene, there's a hole in the suit and you can see the guy's blue jeans underneath for a second....unacceptable! When Arcane transforms into a monster in the end and the two titans battle....it's no better. I couldn't even find a picture of this terrible creature creation to post, but let's just say Arcane looks like something from a bad episode of Power Rangers. I read that they spent three million dollars on this film and you can tell it was not on the costumes.

the 1982 film poster showed promise...

Dick Durrock as Rubber Suit Thing did not....

Hollywood continues to produce new Spiderman and Fantastic Four sequels every year (same shit...different summer), but hopefully one day a major studio will get their head out of their ass and give the swamp devil his due. Swamp Thing's material is very unique and in the right hands with the right budget.....we could get one hell of a super hero romp. Hey......I can dream can't I?

My take on the whole Watchmen/Fox ass-fuckathon.

With the news of Fox and Warner Bros. reaching a settlement that could probably fund my retirement 40 years early, I'd like to take a moment to explain why I think Fox can have a nice warm cup of shut the fuck up.

First of all, they've had the license for this goddamn property for a long, long time. If they were going to make a move before my unborn grandchild bites the dust, they were sure taking their sweet time with it. I'm sure a lot of studios have projects that get shelved for a number of years, but this is fucking ridiculous. On the flip side, I guess we can all be thankful they didn't turn it into a shitty Saturday morning cartoon to air alongside their X-Men show(which I like a lot, but Watchmen would have blown shit). Still, the relief that comes from knowing something great wasn't turned to ass doesn't change the fact they COULD have made it great. Wolverine sure looks great, though. Good job on that, Fox, because everyone worth a shit knows X-Men: Last Stand was stellar.


As far as the legal issues are concerned, yes, Warner Bros. had to know this was coming. They didn't have any right to make this movie, and being a money-grubbing, artistic black hole of a studio, Fox saw their free ride gravy train pulling up right on time with a big blue man riding shotgun. Obviously, this could have turned out to be shitty for everyone, but did you honestly think Fox wanted to outright stop the production and release of Watchmen? What money was there to make in that? If the movie never came out, they wouldn't be able to get a huge settlement for doing nothing, while someone(probably low on the totem pole at Fox) wondered at what point he thought it was a good idea to join a company with the temperment of Ebenezer Scrooge and the output of a past-his-prime Uwe Boll. But hey, Wolverine is doing some re-shoots, so that must mean they're taking it seriously. Strange timing, don't you think? Fox gets some inheritance cash and Hugh Jackman gets to do some more acting. Hmm....


I'm not bagging on Wolverine for any particular reason, mind you. It's just the only thing I can think of that's being released by that crap hole of a company. I hope it's a good movie, and Hugh Jackman is bad ass as Logan. They even made a great pick for Sabretooth, so that's two points for them. Subtract 1000 points for being lazy bastards with their hands out, and their final score is, like, way negative. Math isn't my strong suit, but it sure is theirs.

Does Heath Ledger's Joker deserve the last laugh?

On the one year anniversary of his passing....Heath Ledger is nominated for an Oscar for his portrayal of the joker. Let me be the first to say that I thought he was a great talent with a body of work that started with teeny bopper crap and ended with more meaty roles worthy of his promise as an actor. I do however feel that we shouldn't give him the golden dude just because he's dead....especially when there are other actors on the nominee list whose careers could benefit by winning the best supporting actor nod.


Consider Robert Downey Jr. for a moment. Here is a guy that has fought his own personal battle with drugs and alcohol and lived to tell the tale. His rise back to the creme of the acting crop is feature film worthy itself. Yes, the extreme method actor Kirk Lazarus that he plays in "Tropic Thunder" is ridiculous, but is it more so than a guy playing a comic book character with green hair and messy clown make up?

Downey Jr. as Kirk Lazarus playing Sgt. Lincoln Osiris

Or what about Josh Brolin? His performance as Dan White in "Milk" gives us an interesting glimpse of the man who in the 70's assassinated gay rights activist Harvey Milk. Surely this insight into a piece of history that many people were perhaps not aware of should be considered when deciding.

Brolin and Sean Penn in "Milk"

In the end, I just don't want it to be a sympathy win for Heath. I want the academy to truly feel that it was the performance of a disturbing anarchist on the screen in "Dark Knight" that takes the statue. If they decide the Joker is better than a white guy playing a black guy....or someone playing a historical figure then I'm ok with that. Rest in peace Heath. (comments very welcome)

The best of 80's fantasy pt. 3- Dragonslayer (1981)

Why is it that Hollywood can seldom get dragons right? They try......and for the most part....fail miserably. I do give some credit to 2002's "Reign of Fire" which shows the fantastical creatures as they should be....mean....nasty....killers. I don't want to see movies about charming dragons that love people and are voiced by Sean Connery...or Rachel Weisz. I want to see the mother of all badass fantasy monsters turning peasants into charred remains with fire and tearing them apart with unholy brute strength. It's sad....but dragon lovers prayers have not been answered since 1981's "Dragonslayer." It's a tale of an ancient terror named Vermithrax....she's a grumpy old bitch so vicious that people maim themselves just to get away from her. She's here to slay.....or be slayed.

The plot has a band of desperate villagers led by a young man named Valerian seeking out the last known sorcerer Ulrich of Craggenmoor (Ralph Richardson). He alone is their only chance to rid the land of the last and oldest dragon. For many decades the kingdom of Urland has been ravaged by Vermithrax and twice a year they offer her virgin daughters chosen by lottery to avoid her wrath. Ulrich is old, but seems to be up to the challenge. The only problem is that King Casiodorus doesn't like this plan and dispatches the captain of his guard Tyrian (John Hallum) to test the old man to see what power...if any...he really has. It's Tyrian's blade vs Ulrich's sorcery....but alas....everyone knows you never bring a wizard to a knife fight and Ulrich is mortally wounded. With Ulrich dead....the villagers have no hope for the future. Enter Galen Bradwarden (Peter Macnicol)....the young sorcerer's apprentice who takes it upon himself to challenge the dragon and the corrupt government of Urland. The task is mighty and only the power of a mystical amulet that he is too inexperienced to use can help him.

The characters in this film are great.....there are plot twists galore (especially when Valerian's true colors are revealed)....and we begin to wonder if Galen actually stands a chance against the villainous Tyrian....not to mention the dragon. Keep a lookout for an early movie appearance from Ian McDiarmid. You might know him as the Emperor Palpatine in the "Star Wars" prequels. Here he has a bit part as a priest that stands against the dragon with nothing but his faith in God to help him. (spoiler...the force is not with him) At first Galen seems like a real whiney shit....but give him time....he eventually rises to the occasion and when his magic fails him...he takes on Vermithrax with one of the most awesome movie weapons ever...the Sicarious Dracorum. (roughly translated....the dragonslayer)

Forging the Sicarious Dracorum AKA the badass spear

The FX were done by ILM and still hold up pretty well in my opinion. They kind of take the "Jaws" approach and don't show you the monster until much later in the story. It works to build suspense and you'll really appreciate it when Vermithrax is finally revealed. I should also mention that this film was co-produced by Disney, but don't be fooled by the PG rating. "Dragonslayer" is dark and bloody as hell....it would definately get a PG-13 today...if not R. Vermithrax must have scared the crap out of movie makers because celluloid dragons have pretty much been pussies ever since.

"flame on" Vermithrax is ready to cook thy nuts...

The best of 80's fantasy part 2 - The Beastmaster (1982)

Yet another classic from my youthful days...whenever this film came on cable...it was like the call of the mythological sirens luring me to my brainless doom. This film flopped at the box office, but had a huge impact on television. TBS aired the film so often that it was dubbed "The Beastmaster channel." Never again in the future of fantasy films will a guy with a sword and a bag of ferrets be so friggin cool!

Directed by Don Coscarelli... (horror buffs know him as the man responsible for the "Phantasm" film series)....it's the tale of Dar (Marc Singer from V the classic alien invasion series) who as an unborn infant...was magically teleported into a cow's uterus by a witch. The plan was to sacrifice Dar so that his father King Zed would have no heir...and the evil priest Maax (pronounced may-axe..and played by Rip Torn) could take power with his ultimate cult of evil. (I guess kings never had secret service protection back in the day) Dar is saved however....and taken in by a bunch of kind villagers. Sounds like the typical fantasy crap right?....Ah....but the plot thickens.

You see...because he was born from a cow's womb...Dar grows up and finds out that he can communicate with all creatures in the animal kingdom telepathically....it doesn't make any sense...but come on...it's fantasy! After years of living peacefully, Dar's village is attacked and destroyed by a race of barbarians known as the Jun-Horde...that wouldn't you know...is controlled by Maax. Dar survives the massacre because the movie would just end if he didn't...and sets out on a quest for revenge and possibly a reclamation of his birth right.

Along the way he befriends a hawk, a couple of ferrets, and a black dyed tiger. Each of them contribute to the smiting of evil. The hawk can scout out miles ahead....and he can link up and see through its eyes. The ferrets can sneak around and steal keys from clueless guards...and the tiger can kill, eat, and shit out on a log anybody dumb enough to fuck with a tiger.

He meets some human allies as well.....the warrior Seth (John Amos from Good Times) and his young friend Tal (nobody special)...who happens to have some family ties with Dar. Throw in sexy red headed Kiri (Tanya Roberts..from that 70's show) who knows how to break into Maax's castle....and you have a youself a nice little fantasy fondue.

This movie had this kind of dark cool vibe to it. Rip Torn was a menacing villain.....there were witches that could walk up walls and turn dudes into evil leather clad S&M zombies by shoving glow worms in their ears. Our heroes also had to deal with the barbarian Jun army and these strange winged monsters who could snare a person...eat them...and crap them out into green foam. All worthy adversaries for Dar to go up against.

Marc Singer does the job well as Dar. He buffed up for the part and has cool 80's feathered hair. Along with his trusty sword and animal companions...he also has this razor boomerang thingy that he tosses around and causes mayhem with....I always wanted one...but they never had them at K-mart.

"The Beastmaster" rises to the cream of the fantasy crop. Easily one of my favorites that I enjoy even as an adult. Don't stick this one in a cow's womb and sacrafice it to your evil diety of choice...it's surprisingly good fantasy fluff!

Understanding the Icons: Contemporary American Film

I've spent a lot of time on this site talking about foreign films. I've waxed poetic on German, Japanese, Korean, Chinese and Spanish films, with, if memory serves, only two American offerings. However, if you read my Gran Torino review, I think you could see my deep appreciation for the American Icon. And by writing this, I want to expand on the idea that American film has carved itself a huge piece of cinema history.


Let me start by describing one of the reasons our films have hit such a nerve with people all over the world. If you ever travel abroad, there might be a situation where you're talking shop with a film lover of another country. You might start by mentioning local directors, or what's hot at the moment. But as the conversation progresses, you find yourself digging into movies where you don't even have to mention their names to get a tremendous response from them. You might say something like, "Have you ever seen any of the Rambo..." "Ah, Rambo!" would be the response from the man of foreign persuasion, before you were even allowed to finish your sentence. He would then make a knife-jabbing motion with his hands, smile with that shit-eating grin that only someone who's seen something way too many times could make, and then give you the thumbs up. Good times.


That's what I mean when I say the American Icon. The actors or characters that don't need an introduction, no matter where you happen to be. The movies that, after you finished watching them as a kid, you would immediately head to the back yard to re-enact your favorite scenes, yelling and screaming while running back and forth with a stick or a piece of plastic as a substitute for whatever the famous weapon of choice might have been. This is what I point to when film snobs tell me American movies suck, and I'm not cultured enough to appreciate the finer things in life. Fuck you, my friend, where have you been for the last 30 years?


And with that sentiment laid out on the table, I'd like to present my case for understanding the great American Icons of the last few decades, and why they're still relevant today. I'll start moving forward chronologically, so as not to disturb the memories any of these characters or movies might hold for whoever decides to read this. I'd also like you to make note that you've probably already seen all of the movies I'm going to bring up. Otherwise, there's no point in writing this, and I can go back to watching my Ingmar Bergman box set, thank you very much. And if I miss something, it's not a slight, unless you bring up a movie so obscure or out-dated that Clint would happily tell you to get off his lawn.

Dirty Harry

Harry Callahan made being a loose cannon of a cop cool. The way he walked around with his shades on, telling people to make his day before blowing a hole in their chest will always hold a place in the hall of greatness. Say what you will about the sequels, but as a persona, Dirty Harry embodied the American bad-ass for over a decade. Personally, I hold the Dollars trilogy in the same high regard, but as a whole I'm guessing Harry Callahan holds a bigger place in peoples' hearts. Regardless, the films are classics, and nobody will tell you any different.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Indiana Jones was my hero for a long time, and he still is. Harrison Ford oozed charisma every time he moved or spoke, and he almost made me take up archaeology. If, in reality, that profession was the same as an Indiana Jones movie, there would be a lot more archaeologists, and the world would be a lot more awesome. By day he would fight the Nazis and take all their shit, and at night he would bed the women I lusted after. Yes, I wished I was Indy, but who wouldn't? They jumped the shark with the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but I blame that on the good ol' Lucas Curse, and not the character becoming stale. Seriously, fuck George Lucas. But that's a tale for another day. Right now, I simply can't tell you how much of an influence Harrison Ford had on every other high adventure film to be made after 1981.

First Blood

John Rambo was a loner, a survivor, and a distraught human being. I greatly sympathized with him as the po-dunk police parade tried to shit on his homecoming party. However, that was alleviated when he drove spikes through the knees of one of those assholes. He had it coming. Of the movies I've mentioned so far, this is by far the most serious. But it handles itself with class, and still holds up as one of the greatest action movies ever made. I really wish Stallone would have made more out of his career with more than just Rambo and Rocky, but as of late he's redeeming himself with damn fine resurgences of both franchises. Not much else to say about Rambo, except that I wear a bandana to sleep every night.

The Terminator

Much more could be said of Arnold Schwarzenegger's career, but to me, his defining moments are still encapsulated in the T-800 model terminator. In the original movie, he was the stuff of nightmares. His glowing red eyes would haunt my dreams for years, and I thanked God I was not the mother of the leader of the resistance meant to combat a robot apocalypse. In the sequel, he was the greatest ally you will ever know, as long as you gave him your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle. His strength and loyalty would never be broken, and the human race always stood a chance as long as he was around. Many would try to duplicate his on-screen badassery, including the third Terminator movie, but they all ultimately fail, and bow down to the greatness that is James Cameron's vision of our possible future.



There are more to speak of, for sure, but I think I've made my case for the American Icon thus far. People will be quoting lines from these movies until the end of time, and I'll take this opportunity to pride myself in being born in the country where these epic tales originated. That's all I have, and I can think of nothing more apropos than to end with the truth: I'll be back.

Anime Afterthoughts - Satoshi Kon, Round 1

If you've never watched any anime before, it's hard to say where you should start. A huge majority of them fall under one category, and if all you've been exposed to is the usual shonen fare, I could forgive you if you tipped your hat and said "Good day, sir." There's a place for everything, and I happen to enjoy the occasional fluff, but that's not why I'm here with you now.


Satoshi Kon's body of work is so far removed from the adolescent male oriented, action heavy serials that it's almost a genre of its own. His movies have depth and meaning that rival anything Hollywood has to offer, and in a lot of cases, surpasses them. In this first round of conversation, I'll talk about two of his films: Perfect Blue and Paprika. While they're both wildly different in plot, their executions do bare a similarity, which I'll touch on in a moment. So without further adieu, I give you two examples of Satoshi Kon's excellence in anime:

Perfect Blue

Mima is part of a J-pop girl trio, who sing about the usual J-pop girl trio stuff, such as love, finding happiness, believing in yourself, yadda-yadda. But early on in the film, she decides she's had enough of repeating silly choruses and making cute faces, and decides to give acting a shot. She wants to be considered a serious actress, so she sets out to land a role on a murder mystery tv show. She gets the part, but one of the requirements is the inclusion of a rape scene, and her publicist/agent is none to happy about it. She agrees to do it anyways, but the ramifications are abrupt and unsettling. The ghost of her old self starts appearing to her, and she begins drifting in and out of a dream-like state, unsure of who she really is.


Throw into the mix a psychotic stalker who seems to be hanging around just about everywhere Mima goes, and you've got yourself a damn fine drama. I've seen comparisons made of this film to David Lynch, but honestly, Perfect Blue is much easier to digest than the "what the fuck is going on?" style Lynch is so fond of. However, there will be times you're not sure exactly what's really happening and what's in Mima's own mind. It's just not so damned out in space about it. Perfect Blue is really worth checking out, and I recommend viewing it at least twice before coming to any solid conclusions about the film's turn of events.

Paprika

Paprika starts off inside the mind of a man. In his dream, he shifts between a circus, a scene out of From Russia With Love, a Tarzan movie, and finally something from his own past. When he wakes up, we find out that his dreams are being monitored and recorded by a device called the DC Mini. The purpose of this device is to help therapists and psychologists better understand the minds of their patients. A noble effort, indeed, but soon after the therapy session, a DC Mini is stolen and all hell breaks loose. You see, the device that was stolen had no security protection installed, and whoever operates it can go in and out of the dreams of whoever is using a DC Mini. As more and more people start going insane, it's up to the creators of the DC Mini to find the thief and undo whatever damage they did.


Apart from the great story, the visuals become more and more stunning as the dreams of many people begin to mix and grow. There's a character in the film who, if they were ever to do a live-action adaptation(I hope they don't), should be played by Max Von Sydow. The resemblance is uncanny, and you could compare the character to Von Sydow's Burgess in Minority Report. It's a fun ride, and has the added bonus of making you think about the ramifications of technology on society.

As I said before, these films share a common trait: the blending of reality and dreams. They handle it in vastly different ways, and it's a testament to the brilliance of Satoshi Kon that he's able to make two films about the same subject, yet come away with pieces that stand on their own two feet.


In the next installment, we'll have a look at Satoshi's Millenium Actress and Tokyo Godfathers. So let me know what you think of Perfect Blue and Paprika, and hopefully you'll stick around for round 2 of Anime Afterthoughts, unless you've gone on a Miyazaki binge or something. Which again, I could forgive you for.

Some people don't like reading subtitles. I'd like to help.

I can understand why subtitles can be a barrier for entry some people just can't get over. You don't read them fast enough, and by the time you figure out what the hell's going on, you've missed the next three scenes of the movie. I feel your pain, and I'd like to make a few recommendations that might accustom you to the multi-tasked requirement of watching foreign films. These few selections are either light on story and someone will get punched in a few seconds anyways, or the pacing is such that you won't be hitting rewind after every scene.

Anything by Jackie Chan

All of his movies pretty much rely on his stunt work and acrobatics, and the plots are usually throwaways. Not every time, but you can usually count on him to slide down the side of a building, through a ring of fire down onto a bed of coals, then proceed to drop-kick someone through a pane of glass into a display made entirely of Legos. And 90 percent of the time his character's name is Jackie. Go figure.


PTU: Police Tactical Unit

A Chinese film by director Johnnie To, it's about a dipshit detective who loses his gun one night while he's out being a dipshit. His Police Tactical Unit friends decide to help him save face, so they go on the hunt for the missing firearm. Things happen at a slow enough pace to where you should be able to keep up, but it doesn't drag or make you spill your beer in your lap from falling asleep.


Ichi the Killer

Welcome to the batshit-insane world of Takashi Miike. Ichi the Killer is a Japanese yakuza film, and in it you'll find tongue removing, hot oil(or something) being poured on someone's back, limbs being heinously sliced, and so much more over-the-top craziness I can't list it all off the top of my head.


Pan's Labyrinth

From the director of Hellboy, this Spanish drama centers around a young girl trying to cope with family situations while in the midst of an on-going war. It has the same visual flair of Hellboy, but it's a lot richer in content. If you like anything by Guillermo Del Toro, I guarantee you'll enjoy this.


Nosferatu

The remake by Warner Herzog of the black and white classic. If you find black and white silent films are just not your bag, then definitely give this a try. It stays within the general story arch of the original, while adding a little more character depth. And if you haven't seen anything by Warner Herzog, this is as good a place to start as any. He's done so much shit, it's almost unbelievable.

And so ends my recommendations for the subtitle-handicapped among you. I hope you give these a try, and who knows, you might start to find some really good films as a result. Happy hunting!

Movie Review - Downfall (2004)

It's easy for us now to look back at the Second World War and point out how much of an evil, despicable person Adolf Hitler was. So obvious, in fact, that you might find yourself wondering how a man like that could even come into power. If you haven't read a lot of WWII history, it's a hard thing to understand. You look at the state of the world now, with its Kim Jong-Ills and Osama Bin-Ladens, and it seems, for the most part, that there are clearly defined "bad guys." But you should realize that back when Hitler forced his way into power, Germany was in a state of shock. No one knew what the future held, and fear of a continued landslide after WWI was foremost on the minds of its citizens. That's how Hitler was able to get his foot in the door -- by promising to rebuild Germany to its former glory. He was a powerful orator, and his speeches resonated with many, many people who just wanted something to believe in. A lot of these people weren't evil; they were simply mislead by a figure who took his opportunity to mold a frightened country into what he saw fit.


Traudl Junge(Alexandra Maria Lara) was one of those people. She was a secretary of Hitler's, and she accompanied him in the bunker that served as the last holdout of the Nazi party. The film opens with an interview with the real-life Traudl, and in it she expresses her regret for not figuring out Hitler's true motivations and plans. She applied for her secretarial job along with a bunch of other girls who all acted like they were auditioning for a movie role. Their excitement was genuine, but I really don't think these girls knew what the hell was going on. It illustrates the power someone could hold over impressionable youths, cause be damned. All they knew was that Adolf Hitler was an important man -- a man who was going to change the face of Germany forever.


The beginning of the actual film sees Russian troops rapidly closing in on a war-torn Berlin. The Nazis are scrambling, desperately trying to find something they can salvage from their failed attempt at world domination. Some want to negotiate a treaty with the Allied Forces, while others view that as defeat -- something their proud egos would not allow. Hitler was one of those men. While he demanded his armies continue fighting, he nevertheless ordered the evacuation and transfer of their headquarters into his bunker, where he would hold out as long as long as he could. This is where most of the movie takes place; as the war rages outside its walls, Hitler commands what little he has left at his disposal, seemingly unable to see the obvious defeat looming at his doorstep. He barks orders, rages at the incompetence of his commanding officers, and even has a party -- if more than a little subdued -- for his 56th birthday.


And it's in this context you see his madness consuming him. His anger and frustration boil over into uncontrollable rage at times, but he won't allow for any sort of compromise. He bases his command decisions on non-existent troops, and generally acts like the war is still theirs to lose. These are all examples of how this film shows Hitler to be a human being, not the larger than life monster he will forever be known as. He also shows warmth and affection towards others, and you get just a glimpse of why those surrounding him would choose to follow him so blindly.


Among those people was Magda Goebbels, wife to Joseph Goebbels, one of Hitlers closest friends and Reich Minister. After ( spoiler!! ) Hitler's suicide, there's an extremely powerful scene in which she decides the fate of her six children, and the depth of her convictions are made despairingly apparent. Downfall is full of like moments, and I can't help but feel what it was like to be part of their hopelessly lost cause. It's a strange thing to relate to people who committed blatent attrocities, but such is the power of film. I would obviously not consider myself an admirer, but thanks to Oliver Hirschbiegel, I at least have another perspective as to how Hitler wrestled his way into the hearts and minds of so many.


What's that, you ask? Yes, Hirschbiegel did direct the god-awful The Invasion, the latest reincarnation of the classic Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I think it's safe to say most foreign directors make the most out of their talents when making movies in their native countries. Because, wow, The Invasion was a filmic abortion if I ever saw one. Downfall, on the other hand, is worthwhile for anyone who has a remote interest in WWII history, Hitler, or great dramas in general.

The best of 80's fantasy part 1 - The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

In the 80's fantasy movies about barbarians wielding huge swords and rescuing scantily clad maidens were all the rage. If I couldn't see them at the theater...then you can be sure that I was staying up late and trying to get a peak at all of them on cable. Some of these movies were actually pretty good...while others were complete crap. I'll try and focus on some of the ones that I remember fondly from the good ole days.....like 1982's "The Sword and the Sorcerer."

While definitely not an amazing film by any stretch....it's still a very entertaining guilty pleasure of the genre. Played mostly for laughs....the plot is about a young Prince named Talon as he quests for vengeance against the evil King Cromwell (Richard Lynch...who has never played a nice guy) the man responsible for the murder of his parents. Cromwell took the throne away from Talon's father by force and has ruled the kingdom with an iron fist ever since. He had a little help from a sorcerer named Xusia (Richard Moll...who played Bull in the sitcom Night Court) who he then double crosses and leaves for dead.

I don't really need to say anything else about plot...because really...who cares. All you need to know is that there are many nude women....and battles galore as the older Talon (Lee Horsely...who the hell knows who he is....I think he had a tv show once) goes after Cromwell with his mighty three bladed sword of doom that shoots its blades at people. In the end...blood is spilled...kingdoms are won....and wenches are pleasured. Unfortunately the DVD is out of print...but hopefully with the recent news that a sequel is being filmed ( Tales of an Ancient Empire...it was promised at the end of the movie) will spark enough interest for a re release.
Check it out and have a glass of fine wine with this cheddar.